Counting the ways
by 1147694
Summary: ...to where you are. [AU. SasuNaru. runaway teen fic.] Sasuke always did mean to leave Konoha, and that intention breaks Naruto’s heart. But fate pulls a 180, and instead it is Naruto that leaves, and Sasuke is the heartbroken one.
1. the angst of fifteen

Disclaimer: Naruto and everything associated don't belong to me, neither do the lyrics. I'm not claiming ownership of anyone's ideas. I'm just borrowing.

Basics: PG13/T, General/Drama/Romance/Angst, AU, (?) chapters

Warnings: Boy x boy love, profanity, mild mature themes

Summary: Sasuke always did mean to leave Konoha, and that intention breaks Naruto's heart. But fate pulls a 180, and instead it is Naruto that leaves, and Sasuke is the heartbroken one.

Author's note 1: Try it. Please? This one's rather dear to me.

**X;**

**Counting the ways**  
_to where you are._

**X;**

The teen years were always something of a hurdle when it came to friendships. An especially massive hurdle, actually, for Naruto Uzumaki and Sasuke Uchiha. There was just something about their smoke and mirrors, masks and pretending sort of friends that they were. They'd do anything for the other, not that either would admit it, but even so, the constant metamorphosis that came with adolescence would not skip over their friendship.

_I'm fifteen for a moment  
Caught in between ten and twenty_

**X;**

Naruto had always known that his best friend would have no qualms in deserting their home city of Konoha, deserting everything- deserting _him_- to chase a dream. Or for such a bloody and violent and vengeful goal, it is perhaps better termed a nightmare. Chasing a nightmare- it didn't make sense without the set of circumstances that came with Sasuke Uchiha.

Between them, it would be the same old argument. The only argument, really, that mattered to either boy. Their bickering and insulting and I'm-better-than-you routine didn't count. Not really. Not even to Naruto, though he'd claim otherwise if asked about it.

"So… you'd really just. Leave. Vanish. Just like that?" Naruto asked angrily, heat infusing his short words. He knew he was treading the dangerous path. What had started out as some stupid back-and-forth had taken a turn into _the _Argument because they always knew _exactly_ how to use words to _really_ hurt each other.

Naruto knew the answer to his question, and Sasuke knew that Naruto knew. What Sasuke _didn't_ know was that Naruto asked the same question because Naruto always harbored some distant flickering hope that maybe, goddamnit just _maybe_, the answer might one day be different. What Sasuke _didn't_ know were the feelings driving Naruto's irrational hopes. Friendship, yet more than friendship.

"Yes, dobe." Sasuke almost sneered. "I don't have the same fucking set of morals as you do. I can do better than this godforsaken hellhole."

"But-"

"But nothing. Itachi needs to _die_ for what he did." The words were uttered in a practiced monotone, with only a slight influx of fury on the words _Itachi_ and _die_. Sasuke hated speaking the name of the brother who had had killed every other member of Uchiha family, hated naming the man who was ever present in Sasuke's thoughts.

Naruto stared hard at his best friend leaning oh-so-cool on the chain link fence outside their high school. The wind was lightly lifting the dark locks, highlighted in a paradoxical fiery yet dark blue by the golden setting sun. The illumination almost hued his pale cheeks a healthy color, but the eyes stopped any resemblance to actual warmth. The onyx eyes were icy cold in the gaze that Naruto refused to flinch under.

A beautiful teenage boy, picture perfect in his school uniform. A beautiful teenage boy, minus a heart. Someone that Naruto was now very mad at.

"You don't have to do it alone, teme! God, the way your mind works! 'I'm Sasuke Uchiha, I don't need any help. I'm going to fucking _kill_ myself chasing my psycho mass-murderer brother.' Why can't you see how fucking wrong your views are. Can't you-"

"I'm not weak- that's more of your area, isn't it? Just keep letting people walk all over you."

"You- _bastard-"_ Naruto hissed.

"You could leave, I'd understand. Hell, I wouldn't care."

A painful silence.

Sasuke smirked, but inside something was beginning to hurt uncomfortably. He didn't mean that last statement, and that twinge was from knowing how untrue that statement was. He ignored that and focused on the thrill of the sudden power he had over his best friend's feelings. He was being so _cruel_ and he knew it. But even an Uchiha could get caught up in the heat of a fight and let loose cutting words that he would later regret. But now, he was spiteful, and good lord, he was _enjoying _it.

Naruto would be the first to concede. As usual.

The boy with the shock of golden hair brought his blue gaze up to perfectly align with Sasuke's. The decidedly defined features, gentled by the innocence cast on his face, were sketched with the tumultuous emotions of fury and worry and hurt and some confusion- _confusion?_ Sasuke wondered- and Naruto opened his mouth to speak, but…

Another painful silence.

Then,

"Sasuke-teme! I- I was only trying to…"

Sasuke looked with distaste at the boy sitting cross-legged on the cement sidewalk, disapproving of the lack of coherent thought that was issuing from his mouth. Sasuke leaned more of his weight on the chain-link fence, making a soft clink sound out.

"Hn. I don't care."

Naruto cringed; must Sasuke always make him feel _worthless_?

They relapsed into another silence. Within Sasuke, the malicious mood lingered, like a stubborn stain- _as if I weren't tainted already _he reflected with a certain dark wryness. He wanted Naruto to be the one apologizing for bringing _that_ up again. Naruto knew that Sasuke couldn't stay, not with that duty of avenging hanging invisibly around his neck. It was _branded_ on him.

Why couldn't the dobe understand? Surely, he was not that idiotic. Naruto was a lot of things, but truly stupid wasn't one of them. Despite whatever Sasuke told him, Sasuke never thought Naruto was anything less than intelligent. Oblivious, quite. Stupid, no. Well, not quite.

The point was, Naruto didn't understand. And Sasuke needed him to.

On some level, Sasuke recognized that Naruto being stubborn was borne from concern about what might happen to Sasuke if he actually left. 'And I will,' Sasuke reminded himself. But god, Naruto needed to know that Sasuke recognized that. _Still going through the are-we-really-best-friends-shit_. Goddamnit, of course Naruto would care, and Sasuke cared about him too- but really-!

Naruto, meanwhile, was still struggling with the words. Eloquence came to him rarely, and never when it concerned his _particular feelings_ about Sasuke. How does one say: _I don't want you to leave because you're my best friend, but more than that, I'm fucking in love with you_? Naruto stared down at the cement under his hands currently gripping the ground.

Sasuke just completely missed the _Naruto-loves-Sasuke_ side of the equation.

Once upon a time, when they were twelve and fierce, this would have been a fistfight with blood and bruises and physical aches. But they all have to grow up eventually and at fifteen, they were reduced to words and harsh sentiments and heart breaking. And perhaps, with this… course of action, this battle-yet-not-a-battle, the wounds hurt more.

**X;**

By the time Sasuke reached his empty apartment- guardian nowhere to be seen- and nightfall was draping itself over the city of Konoha, he was finally feeling the consuming nature of encroaching guilt. The words he had said to Naruto echoed back clearly in his mind, and Sasuke could acknowledge, now that the high brought on by verbal victory had faded, that again… he had been brutal and nasty.

He sat down on his couch, the springs making a soft squeak under his weight. He dropped his face into his hands, massaging his temple. He hadn't bothered turning on the lights. It would have been artificial, almost, for someone who was practically the living embodiment of darkness. The light bulb induced brightness would mock him who lacked real brilliance. Light and warmth was more Naruto's thing anyway. Somehow the dobe had a way of lighting up even the darkest of corners.

Sasuke refused to think of what that meant. If Naruto lit up darkness, and Sasuke _was_ darkness…

Fuck. Forget that.

Sasuke never did like dwelling on his friend like that. It happened all the time (in fact, every time he was unoccupied and not thinking of Itachi with deadly intent.) God, it was so _homo_ of him. But realizing this never did stop him the next time his thoughts wandered to his best friend. That _smile_… And how Sasuke kept pulling it off his face. Sasuke grunted as he picked himself off the couch and let himself amble into his bedroom to try and sleep that night.

…

Of course, half an hour of uncomfortable thoughts and that _damn remorse_, Sasuke had to agree with himself that okay, _fine_, he would try to apologize- in his own sort of way- to the dobe the next morning at school.

**X;**

"_Some guy says he's my cousin or something. I'm leaving." Sasuke said, voice devoid of emotion. It was unnerving to hear a child of nine speak like that. To be so… clinical about saying goodbye to your best friend. _

"…_You…you are?" Naruto, who had been sitting on the carpeted floor in his 'freak's corner' sprang to his feet, small hands balled into fists. _

"_Today," Sasuke added, watching the horror manifest itself on Naruto's still maturing features. The blue-like-the-sky eyes widened and immediately became glossy with held-back tears, and Sasuke could almost admire him for that. Sasuke knew how… sensitive… Naruto could be when it came to people._

_It was the kind of thing you picked up, in these orphanages with bland walls and even blander people. You get drawn to the vivid things. For Sasuke… that would have been Naruto. _

"_Oh. … At least you told me." Naruto tried hard to make his voice not quaver. Boys weren't supposed to cry. Naruto tried to bite back the flood of words- but eventually, inevitably, the dam would break, and Sasuke knew this, too, and was watching detachedly, waiting. _

"_It's not fair! Someone always wants YOU! You've only been here for two years, an' I've been here m' whole life and no one … no one ever… I hate you- I hate- I HATE YOU!" Naruto burst out passionately, lunging his shorter frame at Sasuke, who let him, wondering why the I HATE YOU made him feel so bad, when they've said it to each other so many times before. _

"_Why- why aren't you fighting back, stupid! I'm not some weak girl, hit me back, stupid!" Words, inconsequential words in the long run. And all of a sudden Naruto stopped, abruptly sitting down, all the fight drained out of him. _

"'_Suke—" Naruto mumbled. "I don't hate you. You're-m'-best-frien'."_

"_You too," Sasuke surprised himself, and slid down to sit next to Naruto in silence. _

_Naruto didn't need to say anything, but Sasuke knew what he was thinking. Something among the lines of Sasuke having a home- perhaps a family- again. And him all alone again, lost in the orphanage that ignored him and wouldn't give him any hint about who he was or where he came from. Life would be harsh again, harsh without any bright spot._

_This was their first argument about leaving. _

**X;**

Sasuke woke up from the fading memories. How… odd. He hadn't dreamt of the orphanage for years. After all, wasn't Naruto adopted a year later by Iruka and then didn't they meet up again in junior high and then high school? Wasn't their strange friendship reinstated and strengthened even? Sasuke blinked in a dignified way and glancing at the clock, saw that it 7 a.m., time for him to meet Naruto before going to school.

At the corner where they met, Sasuke waited. Fifteen minutes… twenty minutes… Was the dobe very late? Or ignoring him after their argument? After all, Sasuke _had_ crossed lines he had never crossed before. Sasuke ignored the little blossoming of concern in his chest. Perhaps… he- No. Sasuke wasn't going to think like that. Thirty minutes…

Thirty-five minutes… _Shit. _'I'm going to be late.'

"The ever-punctual Uchiha is late…" Neji drawled in a low voice as Sasuke dropped into a desk near him for homeroom, those pale eyes watching him thoughtfully. The same pale eyes narrowed as they saw Naruto was not with him. "Without Naruto-san, too…"

Gaara looked over with cool interest when Naruto's name was mentioned. The silent redhead with the dramatically rimmed eyes and 'Love' tattooed on the side of his temple made no concealment of the fact he was always watching Naruto, and Naruto let him. There was some sort of agreement, kinship, _something_ between the two of them. And of course, Sasuke disliked him. Very much.

Naruto was not here yet? Eight fifteen, the end bell for homeroom was going to ring any second now… even for Naruto, this was late. Maybe Naruto just skipped homeroom? … Just to avoid Sasuke? Or…

Sasuke shook his head. Naruto would show up. Later.

First period.

Second period.

Third, fourth, fifth.

No matter what, Naruto would show up for lunch, Sasuke thought. It was a matter of _food_. It was never skipped over for studying for some upcoming exam or for some project due the next period, because, simply those weren't Naruto things to do. It'd be waste of time in the dobe's opinion, to pass over forty five glorious minutes of no class, of food, of spending time with Sasuke… even if it were a silent lunch due to a tiff. Yes, Sasuke was sure Naruto would show up for lunch.

Halfway into lunch, and Sasuke had done nothing but sit immobile at the spot he and Naruto always had lunch together.

Five minutes until the bell rang, Sasuke still hadn't eaten.

Sasuke was the last person sitting in the lunchroom.

Seventh period.

Sasuke could have hit himself for being so stupid and so concerned. It was simple, the answer. Naruto must be sick, Sasuke reasoned. Never mind the fact that he seemed to be perfectly healthy the day before. It must have been one of those twenty-four hour influenzas. Or something like that. Why was he so worried? It inflated his guilt a little, to have been so mean the day before, but at least now, he had a reason to seek the dobe out…

…To give Naruto his homework, of course. And… maybe show that he was a little sorry. Just a little.

Sasuke was able to think rationally for the rest of the day.

It couldn't be that…

"_You could leave. Hell, I wouldn't care_."

No. The dobe was just sick, that was all.

**X;**

Sasuke stopped by the Umino apartment. The area wasn't too fancy, unlike the upper-class residence he lived in. After all, Iruka Umino was only a teacher with a teacher's salary. Patiently, he waited for someone to answer the door after he had rung the doorbell. _Ding dong_. _Ding dong_. _Ding dong_. …Perhaps Naruto was in the shower or something. Or somehow sleeping through all three bells.

Sasuke glared at the door, as if it was responsible for all this irrational worry for his best friend. When it was likely that Naruto was just sick (_but why hadn't he told Sasuke…_) or cutting school (_but why hadn't he told Sasuke…_) or something.

Five minutes passed and Sasuke was still standing there.

"Oh for godssakes," he muttered irately, and bent down to feel under the doormat where he knew Iruka kept a few keys, just in case. Naruto being Naruto, it was always a good idea to provide a way for the boy not to get locked out of the apartment if he forgot his keys. Sasuke's slim fingers finally snagged the metallic edge of the key, and without further ado, he pulled it out and unlocked the door.

Room after room, Sasuke politely peered into each.

But no one was there. The apartment was empty.

Then, Sasuke spied a note tacked to the fridge, addressed to Iruka. Undoubtedly, from Naruto. His dark gray eyes quickly scanned over the messy handwriting and message his best friend had scrawled to his beloved adoptive father. He grit his teeth harder with every word that he read and something worse than the guilt was wracking his internals.

"Fuck, Naruto. You _idiot_."

**X;**

Iruka Umino, junior high school teacher, had spent the night with his boyfriend Kakashi Hatake and then had gone straight to work the next morning. He was fully confident in leaving his charge Naruto home alone. Naruto was responsible when it counted; and besides, wasn't the kid fifteen already? Naruto himself hadn't minded being left home alone. On the contrary, when Iruka had told him he was going to visit Kakashi, Naruto's face had split into a wide, sunny grin.

Iruka finally made it home after staying late at the junior high to grade student papers, only to unexpectedly find his adopted son's friend Sasuke Uchiha sitting grimly at his kitchen table. Sasuke lifted his gaze up to acknowledge Iruka's entering, and Iruka was surprised at the multitude of emotions on the usually impassive boy's face.

The teenager held a note in his hand and he was staring darkly at the piece of paper. Wordlessly, Sasuke handed it over to Iruka, who took and read it.

_Hey Iruka,_

_Sorry 'bout leaving like this. But after this… thing with Sasuke, I felt funny so I went back to the orphanage. I dunno why I did that, but I did. Anyways, they've got a new lady in charge. Tsunade, I think her name was. Helluva lot nicer than the old one. _

_Yeah. You know the information they 'lost' about my real family? Well, this lady Tsunade 'found' it. And well… well, I have to go and find myself, y'know? I have to do this. _

_Are you mad? I guess you prolly are. But see, I thought you'd be so happy over at Kakashi's, and I didn't want to ruin anything. And I really really had to do it now. I don't know if you noticed, but something's been feeling wrong for a while, and I thought maybe this would do it. No, I know it will._

_I have to do this. _

_Don't try to find me. I'm not running away forever. I'll be back. Probably really soon. So don't worry about me, kay? I'll be back…_

_You told me to follow what I think is right, and I think I have to do this now. Iruka, thank you so much for everything. You've done so much for me, and even if I find anyone left in my family… you'll still be my most real father. I love ya, kay? _

_Love, Naruto_

_P.S. Could ya tell Sasuke goodbye? He said he'd understand if I did something like this. Or maybe not. He also said he wouldn't care. But tell him thanks too, the bastard. _

There was complete silence in the small kitchen.

**X;**

Author's note 2: …You like? Comments would be very much appreciated. The lyrics are from _Five for Fighting's 100 years_.


	2. what is momentum

Disclaimer: Naruto and everything associated don't belong to me, neither do the lyrics. I'm not claiming ownership of anyone's ideas. I'm just borrowing.

Basics: PG13/T, General/Drama/Romance/Angst, AU, (?) chapters

Warnings: Boy x boy love, boy x girl love, profanity, mild mature themes

Summary: Sasuke always did mean to leave Konoha, and that intention breaks Naruto's heart. But fate pulls a 180, and instead it is Naruto that leaves, and Sasuke is the heartbroken one.

Author's note 1: Again, try it please. Chapter especially for Crick, Tash, and Rachi.

**X;**

**Counting the ways  
**_to where you are._

**X;**

Deceptions. That's how they were going to get through this. 'Story of my life,' Sasuke thought dispassionately. He had to concede that Iruka was a smart man, startlingly logical and reasonable considering that his adopted son just _ran away from home_. The school would start calling, Iruka had said, and the authorities would start calling. So, Iruka concluded, we can't hide the fact he's gone. Or they'll think we _murdered_ him, or something equally ridiculous.

"_We're going to tell them what happened. We're going to tell the truth. Not all of it, but still the truth. You get back to school, Sasuke, spread the word you haven't seen Naruto; that he's missing. That you think he ran away. Don't tell them about the note. By the end of the week, I'd have gone over the top, that I've called P.I.'s, because I supposedly don't trust the police."_

"_You don't want them to find him?!" Sasuke had asked incredulously. _

"_No. I'm sure … I'm sure Naruto will come back. And… I think bringing him back forcefully will do a lot worse to him."_

Sasuke had wondered what kind of man Iruka was. Iruka was actually _letting _Naruto run off to god-knows-where. But upon further thought, upon further analysis of the tiny tremors in the man's voice and the suspicious glassiness of his kind dark eyes, Sasuke realized. What kind of man was Iruka? Iruka was a good one and that was that.

Sasuke was a little concerned about what the hell was going to happen when he went to school alone again- without his best friend. People would wonder. They'd get suspicious; Naruto Uzumaki almost never cut a full day-, which he did yesterday. 'Sick' wasn't even an excuse. The blond had an _amazing_ immune system. All he had ever known was twenty-four hour bugs. And … …

It was always _Sasuke-and-Naruto_. It might be even _Sasuke-and-that-freak_ to Sasuke's diehard admirers and _Naruto-and-that-prick­ _to Naruto's band of followers. They were from completely two different worlds, clichéd as it might sound. Clichés proved true, sometimes, and Sasuke could believe that. After all, wasn't it a rich-boy and poor-boy, elite and scum, dark and light friendship? But in terms of loneliness and heartbreak in a young boy's heart, none of the previous adjectives mattered. It was you and your best friend against the world.

Sasuke once thought he couldn't _stand _Naruto; now he was startled by how much he _missed_ Naruto instead.

_Hell, I wouldn't care._

His words weren't leaving him alone. It was the last thing he remembered saying to Naruto before Naruto up and disappeared, and last night, his own cold statement chased itself, around and around in his head. Maybe it was his words that drove Naruto over that line between rationality and passion to prove something. Maybe it even _hurt_…

Sasuke tried to quit thinking about it. But it ended in him forcing mundane thoughts until he was disgusted with himself to be thinking about the stupid things while his _goddamn_ best friend was missing. Which turned back into thoughts about Naruto, which brought back the guilt, which brought back the words…

_Hell, I wouldn't care_.

Sasuke imagined hearing those words coming from Naruto's mouth, directed to him. He felt an immediate dullness in his chest, even if his face didn't gauge it. (His face never gauged _anything_, according to both Naruto and Sakura.) … Oh. The guilt increased. Sasuke shoved the offending emotion into a mental bottle and firmly corked it up. And locked it and chained it and tossed it into a really deep mental abyss.

But as it turned out, school wasn't so bad. The vast majority couldn't care less, his fan girls were no less than thrilled, and it was only a handful that he had to dole out his excellent pretending: _I haven't seen him all day. _Coldly, like they expected it from the ice prince. Then, a little panic in his voice to verify that he was indeed human, _…He's been having off-days recently… could he… _And then a subtly distressed face that generally allowed him peace about the matter.

The only one he knew he couldn't ever fool was Sakura, who had been watching him oddly the entire first few days of Naruto's disappearing act.

**X;**

Sakura Haruno was a pretty, pink-haired girl with lovely sea-green eyes, completely and utterly adored by quirky but loveable junior Rock Lee. She was very clever, and her consistent high scores and total understanding of everything scholastic attested to this fact. However, she was not only book-smart, but she was also often rather shrewd in her guesses about people, if she chose to be.

And she chose to make guesses about Sasuke, when Naruto stopped showing up for school.

Sakura-Sasuke-Naruto was something hard to explain. In junior high, they were an infamously clashing and explosive trio, until a freak occurrence changed the dynamics of their 'friendship' and so their 'friendship' became a real one.

Once upon a time, pre-freak-occurrence, Sakura had deluded herself into believing that she was madly and passionately in love with the handsome Uchiha, who had not bothered to show her a single iota of extra attention. Once upon a time, Naruto had an embarrassing crush on Sakura as well. Naruto on Sakura crush, Sakura on Sasuke crush, that ugly mess of things was long over, but now Sakura was beginning to suspect that at long last, the final side of their would-be triangle would be finally filled in.

_Oooh Sasuke Uchiha might quite possibly, most likely, abso-effing-lutely have eyes for only one person, and it sure as hell ain't one of those fan girls. _

And then Naruto disappeared. Sasuke's vague replies didn't fool her in the least. Those two couldn't completely fool their closest female friend. Heck, Sakura thought she could even say she was the closest friend that they had besides each other. … _So what was going on?_

By the night of the second day of Naruto's disappearance, Sakura was convinced something wrong was underlying all of this. Then, the truth became revealed to her as she logged onto her Internet that night, finding an email from a familiar address, an email sent a day ago.

She read. She gasped (and thought she'd have coronary failure). She printed. She'd have to confront Sasuke tomorrow. She knew what was going on now, and she'd demand to be completely filled in about all the details.

**X;**

Day three (four?) of Naruto's running away. Iruka had called the police, played frantic, and subtly dropped hints that the kid was a runaway, which immediately caused a lack of interest from the police department. _Don't worry sir, he'll show up. We'll put some guys on it if we can, but we're very busy. _To which Iruka responded by 'suddenly' having the idea of hiring P.I.'s instead, and the police decided it was not their problem anymore as Iruka scatter-brained-ly thanked them for their assistance.

Sasuke was irate. He didn't know only three goddamn days had to pass before he noticed he was declining into a depression about this whole affair. If only he knew where that _dobe_ went! If only he had a goddamn _clue_ about it. Even his no-good cousin-by-a-series-of-marriages-and-divorces guardian Taniguchi, in a random fit of sobriety, noticed Sasuke's new, darker brooding topic and moodiness.

(Sasuke didn't quite realize the fact Naruto's disappearance had effectively removed Itachi from his thoughts.)

But back to Sasuke's growing irritation. To top the whole nuisance-of-an-affair off…

He never realized Naruto was so dearly loved. By anyone other than himself. Oh _hell_ no, Sasuke thought. He did not just think that. He clearly meant- By anyone other than _himself and Sakura_. Sasuke squished down that tingly you're-in-denial feeling. But back on track to Naruto being so dearly loved- here he clenched his teeth at the thought-

Neji, genius that he was, had already figured Sasuke had something to do with the lack of blond dobe. Neji had already threatened him with bodily harm in that creepily silken voice of his and that pale-eyed stare. Death threats from Neji were never welcome.

Gaara, psycho that he was, had also figured Sasuke had something to do with the lack of blond dobe. Gaara used no words, only a narrowing of those powder blue eyes that hid dark secrets, and with only his gaze threatened to painfully rip the orphan Uchiha into bloody mangled bits. Sasuke sneered back at the deadly gaze and remembered this was one of the reasons why he hated the redhead.

Of course, his dislike of the previous two had _nothing _at all to do with the fact that Sasuke was pretty damn sure that both of them were in love with his (…his…?) dobe (and with good reason too, he thought, then squashed that thought as well.)

Then there was Hinata and Kiba and Shikamaru. Oh… my… god… Sasuke had never seen the shy Hyuuga girl- Neji's cousin- radiate so much sheer force. Kiba was loud and tactless about the whereabouts of Naruto, making Sasuke wanting to shove something down his throat, and Shikamaru, well, Shikamaru just got on his nerves the way he lazily suggested some things.

How _the hell_ did these people come up with Naruto's-missing-and-by-default-blame-and-skewer-Sasuke theory, but Sasuke did know he was damn near killing someone.

Which was why Sakura was so pissed when Sasuke whirled upon her in a near-murderous rage when all she had done was tap his shoulder and politely say his name.

"Hmph," she huffed. "Guess you don't want to know who emailed me last night." The pink-haired girl glared pointedly at Sasuke, who silently conceded sullen undeclared defeat because you just could not win with Sakura, especially if she knew you cared about her. Really, Sasuke couldn't care less about Sakura's Internet letters, knowing it was probably from the enamored Rock Lee.

"Sakura…" Sasuke began.

"Oh, you _don't_ want to hear? All right then…" Sakura had a wicked idea. It'd teach Sasuke to not blow her off like that anymore.

Sasuke watched her walk off, as she began to loudly read off the neatly printed sheet in her hands.

"From- believeitninja (at) emailservice dot net…"

Sasuke's onyx eyes widened considerably as he uncharacteristically shouted "Sakura!" and bolted after the girl who was walking away from him. She was still reading it when she looked up at his face, and all traces of mischievousness and irritation left as she saw the look he wore. She held the printout so that he could see it was real, but did not let him take it just yet. Sakura smiled sadly up at the taller boy.

"He's not pranking, is he." Sakura stated, and Sasuke knew that keeping up the façade would be impossible, not after the idiot himself wrote to her about the truth. 'Why didn't he write to me?' Sasuke wondered with no small amount of hurt. But his eagerness (that of course did not show) far outweighed his disappointment at the moment, and he patiently waited for Sakura to relinquish the paper.

"Yes, he is," Sasuke said in a careful monotone.

"What did you _do_?" she accused softly without any real bite. Sasuke had a feeling she knew already. But then the girl continued speaking, this time more to herself, even more quietly that her previous question: "And why didn't I notice something was wrong…"

"I didn't really either," Sasuke offered in a low voice. "Or I did, and didn't really pay attention."

Sakura looked over at him, and he was wearing the same face he had worn at the Umino apartment, though Sakura didn't know it. A multitude of emotions leaked out of his long-worn mask and Sasuke looked more human than he ever had in years, at least in the public eye. He looked less like the untouchable god of attraction than a beautiful, real teenager suffering from pains of the heart.

Sakura reached out and hugged him, a little surprised when he didn't push her away.

**X;**

_To- sakuraxblossoms (at) emailservice dot net  
From- believeitninja (at) emailservice dot net_

_Subject- Hey Saku_

_Hey Red,_

_I don't know if you know, but I'm not in Konoha anymore. Maybe the bastard told you. Maybe Konoha's police force is looking for me right now (hah, yeah right.) But I just thought you needed to know. Saku, we haven't always been best of friends, but I really do trust and love you. Hope you know that._

_So here it is. I'm an orphan, you know that. I left because I needed to find myself. It sounds lame I know. But those scars on my face- they have a story, it's my story, and I want to discover it. Heh, I never thought I was so poetic. I'm sitting here with someone else's broken down computer and I've missed lunch, but… I feel free. Sort of. _

_The only thing is… I keep thinking about you guys. About Iruka and Kakashi and you. I'm still mad at Sasuke, but don't tell him that. I'm beginning to forget what me and him had, I guess it's easier to ignore when he's not in my face, and that makes me feel better. But now you can tell him that I understand him about his crazy goals. _

_So. I'm not running away, I think. I'm running to. So don't worry about me, Red. _

_Love, Naruto_

_P.S. Tell Iruka that I'll be back. A little more time out here won't kill me, and I've got someone to help me, too. And tell Kakashi to try not to molest him too much._

**X;**

It had been a day since Naruto's finger had firmly hit the 'Send' button and now he was sprawled out in the open back of a pickup truck driving on a stretch of highway at 6 o'clock. It was an early May evening, and the mild wind felt good against his face. A brown hoodie covered his torso and bright hair, and he was staring down the length of his jean-covered legs down to the white tips of his black Converse sneakers.

_Speeding  
Into the horizon…_

_The rhythm  
Rhythm of an engine…_

Flying…  
Flying in slow motion…

A knapsack was in his lap, containing a good deal of money, spare clothing, and some other essential and useful items he had thought to bring along. He also had one of those cheap disposable cameras that one buys for a couple bucks at the register in the pharmacy. He figured that if the whole searching-for-himself thing failed (he _hated_ that possibility, but he had to be realistic), he'd at least have a couple snapshots of a time when he actually _did _something with himself.

He reached a strong hand in his jeans pocket; feeling a chain and hanging metal-plate, cool against his fingers. It was a necklace, a simple silver chain and small silver tag, with beautiful and intricate designs swirling spanning over one side. A symbol adorned the back of the plate. There were also two words engraved on the side with designs, a message that he clutched close to his heart.

_Beloved Son._

For Naruto Uzumaki, unwanted orphan, those were wondrous words, proof of a life that he did not remember, however brief.

Tsunade, the lady at the orphanage, had not been able to give Naruto much information at all. In fact, the necklace was the only thing she could give him. His records had been conveniently destroyed in a minor fire a couple years ago, and the necklace was all that Naruto had come with. It had been taken from him as a baby in the name of uniform, and the previous orphanage heads had forgot about it.

'Someone had loved you very much,' the slightly intoxicated Tsunade had said, tipping the necklace into Naruto's trembling outstretched palm. 'I recognize the symbol on the back… Iwasaki is a famous jeweler. Looks custom…'

It had only taken the power of the library's computers to find Iwasaki and the city he lived in. It was only 151 miles away from Konoha, and Naruto had been struck by his wild, delirious plan to run away. Naruto figured that maybe the guy would know who he made that necklace for, and maybe, maybe… Naruto scarcely dared to hope after that. Naruto dashed home with address in hand, pulled a book of maps from underneath his bed and ripped out a specific sheet. Looking at it, he decided that _yes_, he would do it.

Without a second thought past hurried, brief packing and a hastily scrawled note for Iruka, Naruto was out the door. Naruto was spontaneous like that.

It had all begun as a desire to prove _something _to Sasuke. By now, Naruto didn't know what. A tiny flame of anger still burned against Sasuke, but in the excitement of actually _running_, Naruto shoved that without too much effort in the corner of his mind. Maybe, after all, Sasuke was right. It was easy to leave Konoha behind.

It was infectious, this course of action, it was dizzying. It made his blood race. Walked out the door, took a bus, then another, and then he walked. He garnered a ride from the owner of a small construction company who was bringing supplies to the same city Naruto needed to get to.

And that was how Naruto Uzumaki ended up in the back of a pickup truck next to all sorts of oddly shaped construction equipment, rattling over potholes and road irregularities. That was why Naruto Uzumaki was staring at the tops of his shoes, trying to avoid the heart-wrenching homesickness, trying to not think about what he wanted to avoid the most- the angry boy he left behind, the Sasuke that he loved.

Sometimes, Naruto was upset with how his thoughts kept swerving around, to, and back to Sasuke. Naruto promptly decided he'd have to try thinking of something else.

**X;**

Those words!

_I'm beginning to forget what me and him had, I guess it's easier to ignore when he's not in my face, and that makes me feel better._

All that worrying for the dobe- and the dobe practically spelled out to Sakura that their friendship meant nothing! The dull pain in his chest just got worse. About a hundred times worse, Sasuke thought. Sasuke had never foreseen the _Hn. I don't care_ sentiment to be thrown back at him. Sasuke hoped that it was just Naruto still mad at him.

He didn't know what he'd do if Naruto _really_ felt like breaking their friendship. 'And we'd never be anything more…' Sasuke didn't even bother suppressing this thought.

Sakura had finally ended her affectionate hug with Sasuke, but she had lost sight of the hint of forlornness that had been on his face just a second before. It had slipped back quietly into the mask, she deduced with a little sorrow. It only made her heart break a little more for Sasuke, the boy who had never learned before that absence made the heart grow fonder.

**X;**

Author's note 2: Sorry if it sucked. Explanation chapters tend to. But I'm hoping that you liked it.

Looking for more Naru x Sasu goodness? Check out my C2. Archive of complete and well written NaruSasu and SasuNaru. Advertisement, yay.

By next chapter, there'll be some elements that are clear allusions to a book. It's a contemporary classic about another troubled teenage boy running away. Hint, it's set in the fifties. If you can guess what I'm talking about… I'll… I'll… uh. A Naru-Sasu reward drabble, your choice of topic?

Comments would be very much appreciated. The lyrics are from _Five for fighting's 100 years, Vanessa Carlton's The Wreckage._


	3. streets unknown

Disclaimer: Naruto and everything associated don't belong to me, neither do the lyrics. I'm not claiming ownership of anyone's ideas.

Basics: PG13/T, General/Drama/Romance/Angst, AU, (?) chapters

Warnings: Boy x boy love, boy x girl love, profanity, mild mature themes

Summary: Sasuke always did mean to leave Konoha, and that intention breaks Naruto's heart. But fate pulls a 180, and instead it is Naruto that leaves, and Sasuke is the heartbroken one.

Author's note: No, it's not The Outsiders. But that's a really good book, too. Anyway, glad you're here. Note that Naruto counts one less day than Sasuke, because Sasuke counts the night of their fight, while only Naruto knows he left the morning after.

**X;**

**Counting the ways**  
_to where you are. _

**X;**

Tazuna sagged against the vinyl back of his driver's seat, watching his grandson Inari take a bite out of a McDonald's hamburger. 'Inari seems happier lately,' he mused. Tazuna was glad that he and Inari had taken this road trip. The sixty-something year old man smoothed back his graying locks lazily and pushed his spectacles back into place as he smiled indulgently at the ten year old wolfing down his Happy Meal.

The two were sitting in a dusty dark red pickup that had _Mist Construction. Since 1967. _printed in block letters on the side, parked and waiting for a certain blond teenage hitchhiker who had excitedly asked to stop so he could briefly drop in an internet café. Tazuna had agreed without giving the teen too much strife; and besides, he and Inari had wanted lunch. This was the reason why Tazuna and Inari were waiting patiently for Naruto, their blond hitchhiker.

Tazuna closed his eyes, stretching his still-strong arms in front of him. _Naruto_. Tazuna had only met the kid a mere day ago. Tazuna was the owner of a small construction company, and had gone to many cities in the direction of Konoha to pick up several things for his latest project (because he hadn't wanted to pay the multiple delivery fees and he wanted to spend time with Inari.) Tazuna had headed straight to the farthest city and was making his way back, stopping at each city and getting what he needed, and in the city fifty miles from Konoha, he had met Naruto.

Naruto, upon finding out that Tazuna's destination was the same as his, had pleaded for a ride. Tazuna had been reluctant, but Inari liked him and there was just _something_ about that Naruto kid…

…who was now waving at Tazuna and his grandson and walking toward the red pickup truck. Tazuna have an acknowledging sort of grunt at the golden haired, scar faced, lean and wiry young man and started the engine. After making sure that Naruto had climbed up safely in the back, Tazuna gripped the wheel easily in his workingman's hands and they were off.

Naruto quickly snapped a picture of the Internet café as they were making their way down the street. As they hit the highway, Naruto opened his notebook and jotted down the café's name and the fact it was his second Internet café since he left Konoha and that this was where he sent his second email to Sakura. When he finished, he slipped the slender volume into his knapsack, content in knowing that within those pages, the past couple days of his life were kept:

_Day one: Left Konoha really early in the morning. Bought ticket from bus station, took bus fifty miles to next city, Sakei. Really pretty city, but Konoha's nicer, I think. Still, I've never been anywhere else before, so… Wandered around a bit, went inside Sugiyama Internet Café, wrote email to Sakura. Slept in Sakei's bus stop. _

_Day two: Met Tazuna and Inari, they're going to the same place. Got myself a ride. The old man won't stop calling me brat and the twerp won't stop staring at me! Tazuna has to get stuff in a lot of cities on the way… Aoki, Andou and Kojima so far, but I don't mind, I think I'm beginning to like traveling. Surviving on subway sandwiches and snack mix. Slept in hotel, don't remember the name. _

_Day three: McDonald's breakfast and lunch, I swear Inari's addicted to that stuff. The old dude was nice and let me stop in another Internet Café- Maeda's- and I wrote another email to Sakura. Tazuna says we'll be there by nightfall…_

**X;**

I walk the streets I never knew… 

_And if you could see  
What's come over me  
Then you would know_

_Because I'm walking free  
Wind at my back_

_Bathed in afterglow_

'I'm here… god, I'm fucking here.' Naruto thought dazedly.

"Here's the pretty little city of Hara," Tazuna gestured with his hand at a small metropolis surrounding them. Naruto was leaning against the pickup truck door on the driver's side, ready to say goodbye to Tazuna and Inari. Funny, he'd almost adopted them as his temporary family- between the gas station stops and the bad fast food they had to endure together. Naruto felt his heart twang as he asked them for a picture.

"…Sure." Tazuna said slowly. Inari climbed over to his grandfather's side and poked his head out the driver's side window. Inari grinned for the camera while Tazuna maintained his normal composure and with a sudden flash of light from Naruto's camera, it was over and Naruto was staring strangely at the camera in his hands.

"Thanks, old man." Naruto said honestly, his clear blue eyes meeting the gaze of the man who had driven him a hundred miles, putting him that much closer to his ultimate goal. Tazuna surveyed the boy in front of him, giving him another characteristic grunt. _He'll be okay_, he decided. Yes, if the two days with Naruto had shown him anything about the boy, Tazuna was certain that somehow, the blond would persevere.

"No problem kid." Tazuna started the engine of the car, and gave a firm wave in Naruto's direction, and the pickup started rolling away from the teenager, down the street, ultimately headed for the outskirts of Hara.

"Bye Naruto!" Inari called out the window.

_Thank you, Tazuna, Inari._ And so Naruto watched grandfather, grandson and red pickup truck drive away from him, just as the golden orange lights of the declining sun began to illuminate the city of Hara in the singular and unique glory that is a sunset.

**X;**

Day four.

Rock Lee was, in Sakura's description, _a cute, sweet older guy who can be really funny_. Lee was a junior with bowl-cut ink-black hair and very muscled body, and large round eyes with impossibly long eyelashes and an impressive set of eyebrows. Lee was also currently suffering with Sasuke Uchiha at the mercy of a pink-haired slip of a girl with more fire than the most violent volcano.

However, Sasuke Uchiha noticed vaguely, that Lee didn't seem to be _suffering_ from Sakura's lengthy but rather humorous account of her day, Lee seemed to be _loving_ it. Poor fool. Yes, Sakura's story was rather amusing, but Sasuke just couldn't keep his mind present at the lunch that the three were sharing (Sakura had absolutely _insisted_ on him not eating lunch alone… now that… that…)

Sasuke caught the words _Sakura… pretty hair, you have_… off the other two's conversation and decided that listening wouldn't be beneficial to him in anyway, and besides, the word _hair_ just brought the idea of sunshine-golden strands that smelled faintly of some fruit wash. And suddenly, Sasuke felt _supremely_ lonely.

Never mind that he was sitting in a crowded cafeteria jam-packed with at least three hundred other students. Never mind that he was sitting at a table, with one of his closest friends and her boyfriend. Never mind, never mind, because Sasuke would always be alone if Naruto wasn't there, and Naruto just wasn't. Was _this_ what the dobe was terrified of when Sasuke brought up his desire to leave Konoha, to leave the dobe?

Because if it was, then Sasuke would admit, if only to himself, that the dobe had every right to be afraid of this. All these people around him- they didn't know him like Naruto knew him. All of the people- _millions, billions_- in the world, and there was only one who really understood him. His broken childhood, boarding school here and there, then his family's brutal murder at the hands of the eldest son, then the orphanage; through all of this, Sasuke had known two constants- and they were loneliness and Naruto.

The loneliness had never been so great. Perhaps that was because he had never known truly what he was missing.

"Sasuke?" Sakura looked at her silent friend with concern. For the past few minutes, she had noticed that he had not been listening to a single word of their conversation. He was gazing straight ahead with a blank look on his face, and Sakura knew his thoughts were far, far away. Just like a certain best friend might be. She called to him softly once again, to see if she might snap him out of his daze that Sakura knew must be something hurting him to achieve _that_ blank look on his face. And just like that, Sasuke refocused his dark onyx eyes at her and nodded slightly.

'I was _spacing out_ at lunch, of all times…' Sasuke thought disdainfully of himself.

Oblivious, Lee continued his and Sakura's conversation about her hair. "Pink is such a lovely color, Sakura-chan!"

"Thanks, Lee."

"So, what was your natural hair color?"

"Actually… it was blond. I decided to try to dye it red in junior high, and it didn't really work. That's why… Naruto calls me Red sometimes." Sakura snuck a glance at Sasuke. _Now_ he was listening. She smiled a sad smile inwardly. Sasuke missed Naruto badly, she knew, but he also hadn't figured out why he missed his friend so goddamn much. _You love him!_ She wanted to scream at him. But it wouldn't work with an Uchiha. It would only incite further denial…

So she dazzled Lee with a bright grin, "Well, I learned to like the pink-disaster, and so… voila!"

'Sakura's trying to either tell me something… or she's hiding something from me,' Sasuke realized with his unfailingly accurate logic. He narrowed his eyes slightly; what the _hell _was that girl up to now? He knew Sakura was holding a happy masquerade at lunch for Lee's sake because the girl fancied herself in _love _with Bushy-brows, as his M.I.A. blond best friend dubbed him. What Sakura _really_ wanted to talk about was whatever she was thinking every time she gave him the funny look.

Sakura continued to chatter and Lee continued hanging on to every word, completely smitten with the younger girl. While Sasuke couldn't blame Lee, not _really_, Sasuke found that he was ready to gag with all the mindless trivial nonsense floating around him. He was thankful when the bell rang signaling the end of lunch, grabbing his books and heading through the double doors when Sakura, sans Lee, touched his arm lightly.

"Sasuke."

The pale, impassive boy turned to look at his friend, who was gesturing to the library. "Free period after lunch right?" Sasuke 'hn'ed and Sakura took the ambiguous sound as an affirmative and went on, "Well, I'm checking my email. Want to come?" Sasuke looked darkly at Sakura, who knew the negativity in his gaze was not directed to her. They both heard the unspoken question underlying what she actually said: _Do you want to see if Naruto sent another email?_

So they started up the stairs to the library on the sixth floor of their high school, flashing their student ID's at the security guard at the library's doors. They went in and signed out a computer. Drawing up a chair to Sakura, who was already typing quickly in front of a school computer, Sasuke sat down with quiet dignity and watched the screen intently.

_You have (1) new message. _

Sasuke inhaled sharply. Yes. _From- believeitninja (at) emailservice dot net…_

_To- sakuraxblossoms (at) emailservice dot net_

_From- believeitninja (at) emailservice dot net_

_Subject- Hey again_

_Hey Red, _

_Does it bother you that I email you when I'm on the road like this? I mean. You might be really mad at me right now and ready to beat the crap out of me when I get home. Well… I don't know. I just need a place to rant, talk…. So I give you full permission to delete every email I send you! Yeah. I'd totally understand. So… all of this is really exciting for me. It's a lot tougher when you gotta find day-to-day accommodations, but I'd bet it'd be a lot harder if I was looking for a psycho mass murderer. Sorry Sasuke. I know you must be reading over Sakura's shoulder right now. And you prolly know what I said in the last email. So, yeah… I meant what I said about forgetting. And I hope you're following the same train of thought I am. That'd be really great. Well yeah. Greet Iruka for me, Red. _

_I don't think I'll be writing again._

_Thanks to you both, miss ya,  
Naruto_

…Again with this forgetting? Did Naruto want to hurt him like this, again and again? Sasuke blinked rapidly as the dull ache settled over his stomach, consuming him inside out. He clenched his fists together, then relaxed. Clenched, relaxed- clenched, relaxed- clenched, relaxed… Sakura looked over at her companion and wondered why Sasuke was so upset in his subtle way. Then it hit her- why the Uchiha had flinched when his eyes traveled over the word _forget_.

The genius Uchiha was _misinterpreting _Naruto's words.

Idiot! Sakura wanted to smack him. Why couldn't Sasuke realize that Naruto was in _love_ with him and was trying to tell him he was _forgiving _him? Didn't Sasuke say they had a fight right before they left? _Boys!_ Sakura thought vehemently.

The warning bell rang and students began to diligently file out of the library. Sakura pulled her book bag closer to her and looked Sasuke dead in the eye.

"_We_ are going to see Iruka after school and _you_ are going to stop being _emo_ because that's not what he means!" said Sakura, leaning over and hissing into Sasuke's ear. Then, huffing, the strong willed girl promptly slung her pink bag over her shoulder and left Sasuke still staring at the computer screen, completely confused and suffering from turbulent emotions that he couldn't quite name.

**X;**

And as I sit here in this dark room 

Cruddy hotels. Naruto wrinkled his nose at the faint musty odor that the entire tiny hotel room radiated. The wallpaper was in a sorry state, slowly peeling off the thin plaster walls. The bed that Naruto was stretched out on creaked with the rusty squeak of old poking-through-mattress springs every time Naruto made the slightest move. Naruto snorted derisively at the thought that he would be getting any sleep tonight, presented with these crappy accommodations.

'At least it was cheap.' Naruto tried to console himself. Only 35 bucks a night- not that he'd pay anymore for this crap- for a bed, a table, a lonely chair, and a very old lamp on the table. The space was rather cramped, but as Naruto was by himself, he didn't particularly need much more room. Naruto laid there in the dark, remembering how the sleazy, greasy guy at the desk tried to weasel an extra ten dollars by overcharging the teenager.

The guy didn't even ask for his age, and that was how Naruto _knew_ that this was quite a shady hotel. He scowled in the dark. The downsides of traveling.

He wondered if Sasuke ever thought about this kind of thing when Sasuke said that he was going to run away. But the bastard probably had enough money to get a place way better than this. Sasuke always did have all the material things.

_Sasuke_. Naruto couldn't help it, but his thoughts kept returning to the handsome raven haired boy with the intense dark eyes, his best friend. 'That I'm supposed to be mad at,' Naruto reminded himself, but knew that he had forgiven him already. Several times, as Naruto's mind wandered to Sasuke during the empty moments of his journey… wandering that first city, in between stops while in the back of Tazuna's truck, and now…

Because that was what love was. When you couldn't get your special person out of your head, when you keep forgiving them for all the things they had done to hurt you. Naruto certainly loved Sasuke. Loved him for a very long time in fact. He loved the other boy very much, and it didn't surprise him that he forgave Sasuke so easily.

He'd even written of it to Sakura through the emails! Because it was true, Naruto was… maybe not forgetting the fight they had, but it was just becoming another one blending into the so many they've already had. Forgiving Sasuke was both difficult and really easy.

_I miss you, I miss you_

_We're a bittersweet story, an almost tragedy  
But that's okay, because that's how we love…_

Naruto wished Sasuke were right beside him… Sasuke had never understood why Naruto wanted to go with him, if he did leave. But, Naruto supposed, _my journey is one I had to take, Sasuke or no Sasuke. To set things right_. Still, Naruto missed Sasuke and Konoha, and so tried to think of happy things, like Iruka and Sakura and imagining Sasuke's lips on his…

Naruto had slipped off into some Sasuke-involving light doze, and didn't hear the door open quietly and graceful footsteps padding lightly against the flimsy thin carpeting of the hotel room's floor. He did, however, feel the small bed wheeze squeakily as someone's weight settled on the edge. _What the fuck?_ Naruto was regaining his senses and he caught a whiff of cheap perfume drifting across his face.

_Who the hell?_ _A woman? How the fuck did she get into my room-? _Naruto opened his mouth to protest, but a hot mouth was set over his and the curves of a female body were pressed against him, pushing him against the wall at the head of the bed. She purred something into his ear, something along the lines of _missed me? _and _hey sexy_. Naruto was too shocked to think, respond- _what the fuck, I'm getting molested by some woman?!_ Naruto snapped to full awareness and violently tore his lips from the strange woman's and firmly pushed her away from him.

His hand shaking, he reached for the bedside lamp and scrambling away from the woman, flicked the lights on.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Naruto said roughly, swiping a hand across his lips, trying to eradicate all that she had imprinted on him.

Naruto took a good look at her- and her horrified expression at seeing his face. "Oh, _shit,_" she said, eyes wide.

**X;**

Sakura was pulling Sasuke towards the Umino apartment. Sasuke was… dreading going to the apartment. He didn't know if he could take seeing Naruto's things without being hit with a wave of loneliness, guilt, and _something _else- a wave with the force of a two-ton truck plowing through him. Sakura didn't care; she had to deliver the message to Iruka, and make Sasuke really _see_. She tapped her foot impatiently in the elevator while Sasuke stood silent next to her, looking especially haughty.

Sakura knew that proud look meant something was warring inside him.

Sasuke and Sakura let themselves in the Umino apartment, and as expected, it was empty because Mr. Umino usually didn't get home until six o' clock. But that was okay, Sakura thought. It gave her time to talk about the strange relationship between her two male best friends. If Sasuke wouldn't recognize his own feelings, if blatantly point them out to him wouldn't work, then Sakura would work from a different angle.

Sakura would point out _Naruto_'_s _feelings, instead. She hoped that her genius emo would be able to see that the affection was mutual.

"C'mon Sasuke, sit."

Sasuke quirked en eyebrow elegantly but sat. A couple of years ago, Sakura would have swooned at the cool look that he bestowed upon her, but today, she had a mission.

"First of all… these emails?" Sakura waved them in his face and Sasuke flicked his eyes away from them, not wishing to be reminded of what he thought was Naruto trying to sever their friendship with distance.

"I know you're over thinking them. You guys had a _fight_ before he left. He's not forgetting your friendship with him. He's forgetting the _fight_. He's forgiving you, Sasuke!"

Sasuke sat unmoving, silent, and it bothered Sakura that she couldn't read his expression.

"Second, Naruto _loves _you," she added, hoping that would get some sort of reaction out of the Uchiha, to prove to her that she wasn't wrong about the ice prince's surprising feelings for Naruto.

_What?_

"Sakura, do not mess with me like that," Sasuke growled, forcefully getting up from the Umino's couch so that his full height towered over hers, dark eyes boring into the slightly frightened emerald ones. Still, the smaller girl tilted her chin up defiantly, daring him to again disbelieve the honesty of her statement. Sasuke's eyes turned into slits as he turned away.

Sakura was watching Sasuke turn this new piece of truth in his head. Turning it over and over, Sakura knew. Trying to fit the puzzle piece in the world he's carefully ordered into _school, friends, home, revenge, Itachi, Sakura, _and _Naruto. _

"You deliver the message to Iruka," Sakura said, not unkindly, leaving Sasuke to figure out what his head and more importantly, what his heart, should be telling him.

Sasuke vaguely registered her leaving, but it was the girl's words that were left ringing in his head.

_Naruto loves you. _

Oh hell. Now what?

**X;**

Author's note 2: Anyway, about the book, the second hint is that the main character meets a prostitute, like Naruto just did. In a different way, though. Upon revising this chapter _again_, I have officially uploaded every single chapter three times.

Okay, that's it! Comments would be very much appreciated. Lyrics are from _Five for Fighting's 100 years, Vanessa Carlton's The Wreckage, Vanessa Carlton's Afterglow, (my) I miss you_.


	4. it's always between lines

Disclaimer: Naruto and everything associated don't belong to me, neither do the lyrics. I'm not claiming ownership of anyone's ideas. I'm just borrowing.

Basics: PG13/T, General/Drama/Romance/Angst, AU, (?) chapters

Warnings: Boy x boy love, profanity, mild mature themes

Summary: Sasuke always did mean to leave Konoha, and that intention breaks Naruto's heart. But fate pulls a 180, and instead it is Naruto who leaves, and Sasuke is the heartbroken one.

Author's note 1: Hey again. By the way, cheers to _Gallia_, who figured out which book I was rambling about… yay! _Gallia_, if you want the reward drabble… review or PM with a topic and it'll be done!

Okay, I'm just going to face the truth for this chapter. It's not that great. But if you made it from one to three, you might as well. Even if I don't, I hope you guys will like it. At least a little.

**X;**

**Counting the ways**  
_to where you are._

**X;**

_Naruto loves you_.

'Fuck, Sakura. What kind of bomb is _that_ to drop on a guy?'

_Naruto loves you. _

Sasuke was left alone in the apartment. But despite being devoid of any other occupants, it didn't seem at all empty to him; in fact, the walls around him seemed to pulsate and echo with that single- disturbing, disastrous, _wondrous-_ thought. Sasuke felt his chest constricting as it got harder to breathe in a regular pattern- the oxygen just _wouldn't flow _properly- and he was unconsciously flexing his long fingers and drumming them on his thighs.

_Shit._ 'What do I do about _this_?'

Sasuke was one who frequently engaged in lying to himself; it was something that he had taught himself to do. Things like that were necessary, having been hauled from boarding school to home, home to boarding school, then to the orphanage upon the massacre of the Uchiha family.

But somehow, Sasuke found it hard to find the familiar logical reasoning- _lies _- that would usually tide him over.

'What if the dobe _does_ love me?'

For some reason, the initial shock didn't occupy Sasuke for a long time. The absurdity faded almost as soon as he completely wrapped his mind around it. Suddenly, _Sasuke-and-Naruto_ took on a whole new meaning.

Something else struck Sasuke as he pondered this. That… That Naruto's… _gay_. If Naruto did indeed love him, that is. _If_ is the key word, Sasuke reminded himself, and much to his disturbance, some place deep in his gut hollowed itself out when he tried to reason away the possibilities. 'Nothing is concrete,' Sasuke reprimanded himself more severely.

Naruto possibly being gay didn't faze Sasuke at all, and Sasuke wondered how _that_ could be. Shouldn't he be at least a little surprised? Naruto did have that tremendous crush on Sakura once. Naruto liked flirting with girls, even if their eyes were drawn to Sasuke instead. (Sasuke briefly wondered if Naruto was ever jealous about that. Then he realized that, _of course_ Naruto was. Or… at least, Naruto _used_ to be.)

But then again…

Didn't Naruto draw the attention of _guys_?

Sasuke thought of Neji and Gaara and his fists (that he didn't know his hands were curled into) tightened.

And why not?

Sasuke immediately embarked on a mental list.

But the 'why-not' reasons blurred into 'why' reasons- 'Naruto was an idiot' became 'he was uniquely moronic', and even Naruto's immaturity and sentimentality found a certain sort of admiration in Sasuke. How that childhood innocence ('God, is that what _immaturity_ turned into. Talk about euphemisms') could possibly still be there after the harshness and the abuse Naruto's early years had consisted of.

And that sentimentality- Naruto's old-fashioned sense of right and wrong, of honor, of friendships and their obligations- Sasuke remembered the times Naruto would come over, for no reason- just when Sasuke needed him the most. Then there was Naruto always defending his friends, Naruto always caring in his indirect, who-me?, tough-guy way. _Why he didn't want me to leave._

So, Sasuke began to see very well why a guy might be in love with Naruto. One only needed to give Naruto a chance, a real chance. Then, the way Naruto _smiled_ was enough to knock _anyone_ off their pedestal and send them falling. Because- because-

_God, it's like _I'm_ in love with the dobe_.

As soon as Sasuke thought that, a sinking realization settled upon him, and not unpleasantly. 'God, _no,_' the Uchiha thought desperately, but it didn't stop the chain of reactions- it was too late. Sasuke was good at lying to himself, but it would be this time that he failed, for this incoming message from the long ignored heart couldn't and wouldn't (and shouldn't?) be stopped.

And so, without fanfare, without neon lights and blinking signs, Sasuke Uchiha quietly found that he was in love with his M.I.A. best friend.

**X;**

'Well that would explain it,' Sasuke thought resignedly an hour after his not-so-shocking realization. He was wandering around in Naruto's room, and now that Sasuke had acknowledged the nature of his feelings for his runaway best friend, his yearning for Naruto to come back was stronger than ever and the hurt that Naruto had just _left_ him multiplied tenfold.

Goddamn love.

Sasuke was looking at Naruto's array of photos, neatly framed, displayed on the bookshelf that was mounted on Naruto's wall. There was their sixth grade class picture. Sasuke let a smile-of-sorts quirk his lips; there was Naruto, right next to Sasuke. Sasuke was looking dead serious as usual, while Naruto was grinning cheerfully. Of course, picture-Naruto had given picture-Sasuke bunny-ears.

Sixth grade… 'At least, if Sakura's wrong, I was his first kiss.' Sasuke realized with a touch of pride.

_Sasuke was sitting at his desk in homeroom, his first day in public school, hands folded gracefully as he waited for their teacher to come in. He was amused to see the effort that the Haruno girl putting into trying to sit next to him. Sasuke would have snorted, but he held it in.. Girls… they're all the same. Starry-eyed, Sasuke-kun!-ing him here and there… they were just too much of a nuisance. Boarding school, public school, it was all the same. _

_All of a sudden, Sasuke found himself staring into large deep blue eyes. Sasuke almost gave a visible start- he knew those eyes! But… it'd be too much of a coincidence, wouldn't it? However, Sasuke maintained the cool composure and just let his gaze lazily rove over the rest of the features. Ah, yes. Yes, it was. _

"_Still oh-so-popular, huh Sasuke?" Naruto glared down, face close to his, leaning over Sasuke's desk. _

_Sasuke couldn't tell if Naruto was serious. So the Uchiha merely let slip a vaguely arrogant smile._

_Naruto frowned and parted his lips to say something- _

_-and Sasuke was so fascinated by Naruto's mouth being so close, what if he just tipped his head a little forward- _

_-and it turned out Sasuke didn't even have to as Naruto was jostled from behind-_

_-and then their lips met- _

_That Haruno girl squeaked in the most annoying way as the class froze in stunned silence. Then they erupted into a fit of hysterical laughter as the two boys roughly pulled away, frantically wiping at their mouths. Naruto fell flat on his ass while Sasuke tottered slightly on his chair. But of course it would be Naruto who was laughed at while no one noticed the Uchiha's moment of insecurity. _

_But still… Sasuke was almost ready to say that it was a whole lot nicer- no, he meant 'easier'- to have Naruto as his first kiss. No stupid sentimental girl. Just the detachment of a friend that he hasn't seen in a year… A guy who wouldn't place importance on something like that…_

Things had been so much easier when they were ten and eleven, Sasuke reflected. He moved onto the next picture that Naruto, and it was a photo of him, Sakura, and Naruto. Sakura's hair was pink by now, and she was noticeably sitting a lot closer to Sasuke than Naruto. She had a look of vague discontent on her face. Naruto's face was set in that familiar determined grin, even if it was a little strained. His foot was in a cast. Sasuke looked grim as usual. 'I remember, I was trying to get away from Sakura.'

Ah, back when the three of them were the infamous trio-of-doom. Errands together ended up in disasters.

Twelve was an interesting time. After the accidental kiss the previous year, Naruto had avoided Sasuke- with exceptions for Uzumaki-style pranks- as if the Uchiha carried the Bubonic plague. Sakura avoided Naruto in much the same way, especially when she figured out why Naruto blushed around her. 'And I avoided Sakura and wondered if Naruto was ever going to talk to me properly again,' Sasuke remembered.

However, the seventh grade school year was a year for relationships though, because _it _occurred- the freak occurrence that changed everything.

_Sakura looked pleased when she heard Iruka put her and Sasuke on the same group of three for the science project. The pleased look slipped a little- okay, a lot- when it was announced that Naruto Uzumaki (class clown and freak and stalker! How could Mr. Umino be so cruel) was also placed in the same group. _

_Sasuke had merely rolled his eyes. According to the look on his face, he didn't care much. According to what he told himself, he didn't care he'd be working closely that Uzumaki for the next two months. Who cared that the blond was his ex-best friend? Though he had to admit, Sasuke was curious as to what would happen. More of the same…?_

Despite all the obstacles… those two months constantly going over to Sasuke's house, messing with hydrochloric acid and litmus paper and data charts… it changed something between the three of them. Sure, Sakura was constantly hitting Naruto over the head and goggling at Sasuke. Sure, Sasuke wanted to strangle Naruto for spilling the stuff all over the kitchen floor, wanted to throw Sakura out after he caught her trying to steal his stuff for some sort of memento. And Naruto… Naruto was…

_Stop_. Sasuke closed his eyes. Oh, Naruto. You'd enjoy reminiscing like this. Sasuke gave a short, harsh bark of laughter. Sasuke Uchiha, reduced to reminiscing… what has the world come to when it is _Naruto_ who runs away, and _Sasuke _who's pining (oh god, he's _pining_), with Sakura _giving_ the love advice.

He opened his eyes again to peruse the photo once more.

They had become friends, sort of. Sakura was hitting Naruto less, goggling at Sasuke less. Sakura even helped Naruto around with his injured foot when she thought no one else was looking. Naruto was blushing around Sakura less, talked to Sasuke more (and Sasuke could now admit that he had been _dying_ for that to happen). And Sasuke had felt that best-friend bond again, and had begun feeling oddly protective of the pink-haired girl.

And _then_…

_Sakura was waiting for them on the other side of the street, impatient to get to Sasuke's apartment so they could continue their science fair project. Naruto was hobbling slightly with his crutch in front of Sasuke, animatedly talking about something or another. Sasuke was actually listening to the idiot's babbling; it made him want to smile. _

_Smile! As if he could. _

_Sasuke noticed it before Naruto did. It was a difference of split-second, their realizations, but it gave Sasuke that window of opportunity to let his instincts take over before Naruto could counteract what Sasuke was about to do. Sasuke's mind was blissfully blank during those few seconds as he threw himself forward and shoved the Naruto hard so that the other boy pitched backwards and out of danger._

_The high pitched squeal of breaks and skidding tires sounded loudly but it was too late; there was that sickening thud of hood-to-body contact and Sasuke was thrown forward a couple feet. Traffic screeched to a halt, Sakura had screamed somewhere in the middle of it, and Sasuke was bloody and unconscious as Naruto yelled several frantic obscenities, his voice choked with unreleased sobbing. _

Honestly, Sasuke couldn't remember the actual accident very well, now. It hadn't been so bad. The driver had slowed down enough so that the impact hadn't terribly injured Sasuke. The whole incident hadn't pained Sasuke too badly at all. What was _really_ a pain in the ass, in Sasuke's opinion, was the broken arm he'd sustained by falling in an awkward position.

It was the shockwaves that this accident caused that made that year of twelve and thirteen such a time for transformation.

It was an event that shocked Sakura out of her remaining foolishness- coming so close to losing a friend grounded her flightiness and put her head and heart in the right place at last. Sakura had been so worried about Sasuke, but she thankfully kept her 'utter devotion for Sasuke-kun' in check and kept Naruto from going crazy.

As for Naruto… Naruto was a different story. Naruto had been so damn _angry_ and even Sakura couldn't soothe that temper. Sasuke had known that the idiot felt guilty- it was plain as day, hovering in those blue orbs. But Sasuke had never been one to back down from a fight, and then they were flinging words in each other's faces for the rest of the week after the accident. It would have escalated into a physical match like so many of their arguments did, but with a broken arm and a still-injured foot- it just hadn't been possible.

So instead, they had made their words hurt more.

_Why the fuck did you do that? You think I'm the fucking moron? _

_Yes, you are. You couldn't have gotten out of the way idiot. You can barely walk right now!_

_I didn't ask you to fucking throw yourself in front of a moving car! Why the fuck did you do that?_

_I don't know- my body just moved, moron. _

_That's a shitty reason. _

_Well, maybe I should have just left you there, goddamnit. _

_Well, maybe you should've, asshole. _

'The things we _said_ to each other.' Sasuke shook his head. But, Sasuke remembered, all that he had been able to think those few seconds before impact, before that mental blank of adrenaline and purpose, was_ I can't lose him_. A blinding panic had enveloped him, and he had been desperate to do anything, absolutely anything to get his best-friend-again out of the path of that car. And apparently, willingly giving up his life was included in 'absolutely anything.'

And the thing was… ' I'd do it all over again.'

_Sasuke… I just… I just don't want you to leave me again._

_I won't, dobe. I won't. Promise._

'I kept threatening to break that promise. But guess it turned out you were the one who actually left.'

**X;**

_My friends say I should act my age…  
What's my age again? What's my age again?_

"Shit. You look underage, too…" the young woman muttered, looking closely at Naruto. "What the hell is wrong with that bellboy…"

Naruto stared at her. She was older than him, but not by much. Naruto's guess was that this- this- _whatever she was_- this woman, girl really, was around eighteen. Naruto's first impression was that she beyond beautiful, but upon a slight tilting of his head, Naruto decided that no, this woman wasn't beautiful after all. Her features were delicate but angular; it gave her both a fierce and frail aura at the same time. She was clad in something skimpy and silken and Naruto's nose could pick up the aroma of that over-flowery pharmacy-bought perfume that he had detected before. A prostitute, he realized.

The girl pushed her light brown hair back over her shoulder, pulling down her flimsy seductive nightclothes to cover as much as possible so that modesty wasn't too far of a stretch away. She glanced up at him, looking vaguely defeated, and Naruto wondered again if he had misjudged the beauty of this prostitute as green eyes locked with his blue ones.

Naruto found his voice again. "Who the fuck are you and what are you doing here?"

The girl winced at the sharp tones present in his voice. "I… Sorry kid- just don't… don't call the cops- or nothin' like that, kay?" The young woman sighed, frowning.

"Sorry kid," she said again. "Wrong room, see, that retard of a bellboy mixes up business a lot…"

Naruto was still staring at her. He was almost fascinated with the whole thing. He'd never met a prostitute before. He'd always imagined that it would be some mature woman oozing confidence, wearing something sheer and sequined, decorated with a lot of make-up. And yet, this girl, she was tired and desperate, young and struggling… something else shifted uncomfortably into its place in Naruto's world.

"I'm- fuck that. Just… Ami, okay? I'm a part-time maid here, and you c'n proba'ly guess what else I'm part-time," the young woman, Ami, said. She smoothed the silken material of her skimpy, meant-to-seduce outfit that clung tight to her perfect, if a little skinny, body. "It's not a pretty place, here. And- my services just ended up, in… in the wrong room, okay? Sorry, kid."

"Oh." Naruto blinked. He felt he should be a lot angrier with Ami than he was, but there was a sorrow that he read in her face- a sorrow that he knew. Naruto watched the girl lift herself off the creaking bed and begin to head out. He blinked again.

"Wait!" he called out, not quite knowing what he was doing. Ami turned from the hallway. Naruto said, "Ami… D… Do you want to stay? If you don't have any more customers-" here he blushed, "I mean… Just to talk- or something. I don't know."

Naruto didn't know what possessed him to invite a total stranger- not to mention a _prostitute_ who had almost _molested_ him in his sleep. The only explanation Naruto could offer was that it was something that he felt like doing. He reached up to the necklace that was clasped around his neck, and fingered the tag's engraved words anxiously. Naruto gave Ami a cautious smile as she stared back at him, and he knew she was wondering if Naruto was joking or not.

"O… kay…" Ami said slowly, turning back and padding over to one of the chairs. Naruto himself plopped back down on the bed, sitting cross-legged.

Naruto suspected that the reason he invited her and the reason she accepted had something to do with a mutual loneliness. There was an initial awkward silence as Naruto looked at Ami and Ami looked at him, and they both knew the other was judging and wondering and gauging. At last, Ami spoke up.

"So what's your story, kid. You a runaway?"

**X;**

Author's note 2: It's a tad short. Sorry.. Forgive me for the original character and the horrible parallels I tried to make to the canon universe. Twice uploaded because it was riddled with mistakes I just didn't see at one a.m. Any more guesses to the book?

Seeing as I'm just a fourteen year old do-gooder… I really don't have any personal experience to draw from about prostitution. So. … I based it off the book I was alluding to. And hoping that the fact it's an AU makes up for it.

Lyrics are from _Five for Fighting's 100 years, Vanessa Carlton's The Wreckage, Vanessa Carlton's Afterglow, (my) I miss you, Blink182's What's my age again?_ Comments would be very much appreciated.


	5. gravity and legacy

Disclaimer: Naruto and everything associated don't belong to me, neither do the lyrics. I'm not claiming ownership of anyone's ideas. I'm just borrowing.

Basics: PG13/T, General/Drama/Romance/Angst, AU, (?) chapters

Warnings: Boy x boy love, profanity, mild mature themes

Summary: Sasuke always did mean to leave Konoha, and that intention breaks Naruto's heart. But fate pulls a 180, and instead it is Naruto that leaves, and Sasuke is the heartbroken one.

Author's notes 1: Oh. I'm back. Join my C2 for Naru x Sasu love. If you like this, you'll like the C2. Please? Cheers. Onward with update.

**X;**

**Counting the ways**  
_to where you are._

**X;**

And so he told her.

Sometimes it is easier to bare your heart to a complete stranger. Because you know they have some sort of understanding without being close enough to you to hurt you with what they know.

He told her how his very first memories revolved in an awful, ugly orphanage. How he had nothing from the start. He had nothing but a name- Naruto Uzumaki- and an infamous reputation of being a troublemaker from the start. He gave a low, delighted laugh colored by a vague bitterness when he remembered how he desecrated the memorial of the orphanage founders at the age of seven.

"A demon at seven…" Naruto said, shaking his head and grinning widely if not happily. "Even if it was just a lot of those party Silly-string things."

"I never did nothing like that…" Ami said. "I mean; I never did anything like that." She corrected herself hastily.

Naruto blinked at the abrupt disappearance of her accent, along with the incorrect grammar and the lazy pronunciation. Ami just shook her head, and motioned for him to go on. Naruto did. He said, "They were about kick me out of there, government sent or not. Seven years old, and they _hated _me. Then that bastard _Sasuke _showed up, and suddenly all the attention was on him… All that for a stupid rich eight-year-old kid."

But Ami saw the way the lines of the teenager's face softened when he mentioned the other boy's name. She saw and with the infinite wisdom of one who has survived those turbulent years when nothing seemed right… she understood. Her lips turned upwards and she uttered softly,

"He's your best friend, isn't he," Ami stated this without any question, without any doubt, with a lingering wistfulness on her pretty face. Her previously suspicious green eyes gentled as she gazed upon the boy with the scarred cheeks, remembering something of what she was like when she was fifteen. _Lost_.

Naruto looked surprised. "Well, yeah, he is." He grinned again, and the prostitute could see true brightness lighting up the young boyish face. "He's back… back where I came from. I think." He peered at her uncertainly. "I think he's really _pissed_ that I left."

"I would think so." Ami muttered, uncrossing her legs and instead stretching out. She waited expectantly for Naruto's next words.

"Well… he's a fucking hypocrite. He had this _crazy_ running away for revenge thing, to kill the guy who killed his family." Naruto didn't mention that it was Sasuke's brother Itachi, which further complicated the conflict. Naruto paused. "But I guess I'm a fucking hypocrite too."

"Kid, sometimes the things we say… we can't promise them." Ami said.

"Yeah. I know now. But I used to get so _mad_ at him for wanting to leave. And here I am… Me and him, we had this fight. I dunno. I woke up feeling really crappy from some goddamn dream I had. And then he had to go bring up that stupid revenge thing and he said he wouldn't care if _I _left, so I kinda wanted to prove him wrong… and next thing I knew, I wanted so bad to figure out who I was, and I was at the orphanage asking about my stuff, rushing home and packing, and ripping a page out of a map once I figured where I was _going_…"

"-And… I'm probably boring you to tears right now, aren't I?" Naruto gave a short humorless laugh and having only spent half an hour with this insane runaway kid Ami knew that it was not a _Naruto_ laugh.

"No… no, honestly you're not." Ami informed him quietly, meeting his gaze with hers- knowing he'd recognize her own story of sorrow, knowing that he understood how perfect strangers could identify with struggling and despair, even if they were bound only by the basic kinship of humanity and the troubles that came with it.

"…Oh." Naruto blinked his blue eyes once. Then, remembering what he just said, he reached down to the floor to pluck his bag up. Having attained the bag, he rummaged through it until he pulled out a slightly crumpled paper marked with neutral colored areas and crisscrossed with red lines that indicated roads.

"Yeah. I ripped this out…" He held up the map-page up to Ami, who could read the name of her home city printed on top, "…and here I am."

They sat in a comfortable silence for a while, letting Naruto's story linger in the air. Ami breathed deeply. God, this kid… _Runaways just about broke your heart, didn't they, didn't they…_ She fidgeted, drawing her knees up to her dress, careful about her skimpy attire. She really didn't want to freak out Naruto again.

Finally, she spoke. "I… was supposed to… entertain… some guy tonight. That bellboy, he- he relays the requests and then I go in as if I were some common whore-"

Naruto was looking intently at her. He had _never_ met anyone like her. Orphanages were tough, but tough in the rough-and-tumble, bare walls and barely adequate facilities way. He had to use his fists to survive, but he had never met anyone who needed to… needed to… Naruto thought he might have been revolted, thinking about selling one's body like that, but the feeling that resonated within him now…

He was just _sad_.

"-but I guess I am, now, aren't I? Talking dirty to those creeps, acting like I'm that _low_, pleasing them. It's not the way to live. I lost my parents, too, Naruto. I was spiraling out of control at school, and then I gave up, I gave up when I lost Yumi, too. Dropped out, living like _this…_"

Ami gave an involuntary shudder. She fixed her sight on the boy. Those green eyes seemed to be _burning,_ burning with tears, maybe, or anger, or- Naruto couldn't quite name it. "Don't you _ever_ give up, kid. Go back home once you've found what you're looking for. Go back to whoever's waiting for you."

Naruto swallowed with some difficulty. "I planned to… I just want to find Iwasaki- and ask-"

"Iwasaki? As in the _jeweler_?"

"Yeah." Naruto swallowed again as he wondered if it was only he, or did he sound a little choked there? "Do- do you…"

"Yes, I know him. He used to be my neighbor."

Naruto leaned forward, hardly daring to believe that this might be true. Could she possibly- "Could you- could you please introduce me to him?" The words fell from his lips with eagerness and he couldn't remember when he last felt this hopeful, this excited.

Ami smiled at him and hugged her knees closer. "Sure, kid." She glanced at the time and noted the hour. "I… should be going. I'll bring you in the morning. Meet me at the front desk at … nine-ish?"

"Yeah, yeah! Thank you _so _much. You don't know _how_ much you're helping me!" Naruto was practically dancing with glee and relief. Perhaps it wasn't a wild goose chase. Perhaps it could actually lead to something.

"Nice meeting ya, Naruto." Ami said as she slipped through the door again, as quietly and unobtrusively as she came.

"Ami- …" Naruto floundered for the right words of gratitude and understanding, but he couldn't find them. So he merely beamed another trademark smile and said, "Same."

What are the chances, he mused. That a confused bellboy would send mistakenly send a prostitute into _his_ room. Then, of all things, the prostitute personally _knew_ the man that he was seeking. Naruto found it all… bewildering. So instead, he smoothed out his map and folded it carefully. Then, he stuck it back into his book bag.

Then he turned over on the bed, went to sleep, and dreamed of the boy he loved.

**X;**

Sasuke sat still, fingers hovering over his keyboard. He wanted to write something to Naruto- but he didn't know what to say. How does one say, _I finally fucking realized I'm in love with you and I still don't know if our mutual friend is telling the truth or merely delusional. Do you love me? _Not to mention that the would-be recipient of the email might not even _read_ it due to the fact running away can limit one's access to a computer.

…At least, Iruka seemed relieved that they'd heard from Naruto. Yesterday, Iruka had found Sasuke wandering in Naruto's room, perusing the photos that Naruto kept in display. The schoolteacher also seemed to know without words that Sasuke had finally come to terms with his feelings for Naruto. But Sasuke was quietly _really_ glad to see some of the worry lift of Iruka's face when he informed Iruka that Naruto was all right, that the dobe had sent them some emails.

_I wish I knew what to say. _

What if Naruto _did _come back?

No! Sasuke chastised himself. He meant that Naruto _would_ come back. _When_ Naruto came back. There were no if's about it. Sasuke, oddly, felt complete trust in his best friend's promise to return home. So…

_When_ Naruto came back, what would happen then?

Would words fail Sasuke as they did now? Or would Sasuke find, after a difficult confession, that Sakura had been wrong all along?

Sasuke pushed his keyboard away from him. _God, things are always so fucking complicated_.

'Just come home, Naruto.' Sasuke silently asked. 'Please.'

Naruto would have fallen over if he had heard Sasuke say 'Please.' Even if Sasuke didn't technically voice it, the dobe would have known it anyway and would have dropped his jaw comically and pointed teasingly at him. _Sasuke-bastard… I didn't know 'please' was in your vocabulary! _Or something like that.

God, he missed the dobe.

This all sucked.

**X;**

Naruto whistled cheerfully. Really, he couldn't help it. He was just so… excited. He was finally going somewhere and the thought of all the possibilities- Naruto looked like someone had lit a lantern within him. He practically _glowed_ with hope and sunny disposition.

His knapsack slung over his shoulder, he checked the time with a cheap old clock hanging on the hotel lobby's wall, and then shoved his hands into his pockets, trying not to fidget. _Where was Ami?_

A few minutes later, his newfound companion made her way around the corner and Naruto waved. She ignored the leer that the guy behind the front desk gave her and instead headed straight for the blond boy who beamed at her. That smile- it reminded her how much she wanted for him to succeed and to be able to go home again.

"C'mon, kid. Let's go."

The two walked through the hotel doors and onto the streets of Hara.

They walked in amiable silence. Naruto had no idea where he was going, but he trusted that Ami did and so he followed the girl, footsteps falling evenly with hers.

As he followed her, a flicker of cold doubt crept in Naruto's heart. What if… what if- what if this was all a wild goose chase? Naruto knew that he should have tried to put a lid on his excitement, his crazy hopes that had inflated so fast. After all, life had cruelly thrown a lot of things back into his face. What made this time different?

This time, it might break him.

The fact lurked deep in Naruto's subconscious.

Naruto's hand crept up to his face, to his scarred cheeks. With his fingers, he traced the three vertical scars on his right cheek and then touched the identical second set on his left. Lost in his growing sense of quiet panic, he didn't notice when Ami stopped and he almost crashed into her. He apologized dazedly and she waved it off, and gestured to the house they stood in front of.

"This is where Iwasaki-san lives." Ami opened the gate and stepped onto the front walk leading up to the modest urban residency. Seeing Naruto's hesitation, she shook her head and said, "Naruto Uzumaki, you just came from a city more than a hundred miles away. Get in here."

Naruto obediently stepped through the gate that she held open and trailed after the young woman who was walking briskly to the front door. _Wait_- Naruto almost wanted to yell at her. He wasn't ready for this, he couldn't- But despite Naruto's silent plea for caution, Ami had already rung the doorbell. Naruto could hear its faint ring from within the house.

A sound of shuffling footsteps was heard from the other side of the door. The door creaked open and showed a sixty-something man on the other side.

"Hello- Ami! Looks like little Ami from next door is all grown up now," the man said, smiling, upon recognizing the young woman at his doorstep. Ami politely returned a cordial greeting. Then, the jeweler's eyes moved over to Naruto. The eyes widened as the older man took note of Naruto's face and then looked at the chain hanging around his neck. That necklace, crafted with his own two hands, almost fifteen years ago.

"You-" Iwasaki gasped.

"Iwasaki-san…" Ami said, looking a little apprehensive at the shock with which her former neighbor was staring at Naruto.

"How do you know me?" Naruto asked, far more calmly than he felt.

Iwasaki, looking taken aback, shook his head and closed his eyes. "I _don't_ know you. But I know your face. Everyone in Hara over the age of thirty knows your face. And that necklace- it's something _I _made, isn't it? No, you don't need to answer. It's got my mark on it, and I remember it." He opened his eyes to look directly at Naruto.

"You must be their kid. They said you were dead. And _god _those scars on your cheeks-"

"_Whose_ kid?" Naruto demanded.

Iwasaki gaped at him. "Surely_ you _know…"

"_Whose kid_?!" By now Naruto's fists were tightened and his fingernails were digging bloody crescents into his palm. Ami watched the exchange between the old man and the young one and though she didn't quite understand half of it, she felt Iwasaki's distress and Naruto's confusion. _What was going on?_

"Arashi Kazuma, god bless him. And that woman- Kyuubi. Our governor- and that murderous, crazy wife of his." Iwasaki said forcefully. "Of course we know you. We all know you. Your dead parents left you a hell of a legacy."

**X;**

"Naruto."

The boy didn't respond.

"Naruto. Naruto!" Ami snapped. Naruto looked up and Ami saw that his eyes were dull.

"Ami… I don't even know if I want to find out anymore."

Iwasaki had insisted that he was not the one to tell and was adamant about Naruto leaving his property, thoroughly earning Ami's disapproval. Naruto had dutifully walked away and she went after him.

"Naruto. You could… leave. All of it. Just go back home to your friends and that Iruka that you told me about."

"I…" Naruto didn't know how to say that he just _couldn't_. He still wanted to know who he was, but now- now he was afraid. He had seen hatred in Iwasaki's face, certainly, hate for half of the blood he carried in his veins. 'My mother- a _murderess_?' He wondered. But a lot of things made more sense, now. The orphanage must have known his origin- and-

"Or you could go find that Jiraiya." Ami suggested. Iwasaki had also said if Naruto really wanted to know the story, Naruto could go find a man who had known Arashi Kazuma. Iwasaki had given them basic directions. Then, he had slammed the door in Naruto's troubled face and Ami's sympathetic one. The resounding slam at which the door had hit the frame still echoed in both of their minds.

"I… I guess I will, then."

The sun was setting upon Hara again. What a hell of first twenty-four hours in this city, Naruto thought.

"I've got to get back to… work." Ami said, a slightly dark look in her eyes. "Don't do anything stupid. And drop by before you leave, 'kay?"

"Yeah." Sensing Ami's skepticism regarding possible acts of idiocy, he reassured her with, "I'm only going to wander a bit. Maybe go visit that Jiraiya guy."

"Take care of yourself."

**X;**

_Sasuke. _

Something had been rattling around in his brain for a while, starting from when the jeweler had mentioned a legacy.

Naruto tried to ignore the _mother-murderess_ part, but he found it quite difficult. So he let his mind wander upon the thought of Sasuke.

Naruto's heart tightened as he thought of black haired, pale skinned boy back in Konoha. Maybe Sasuke, too, had left. And when Naruto went back, Sasuke wouldn't be there. Wouldn't it be ironic, he mused, to find something that now he wasn't so sure he wanted and lose what he's always wanted and always _had_.

He wished Sasuke was there with him.

Maybe he should duck into another Internet café and write to the best friend he was so desperately missing… Naruto checked his money, an endless supply of which he had not. No. He couldn't afford unnecessary expenses.

A fucking _legacy_.

And what was the thought rattling around his brain? That it was like the burden of the Uchiha name.

'We're even more alike than I thought… Prominent family, murderous family… Orphans. Except the very ground he walks on is worshipped and apparently these scars of mine mark me as some demon child.'

When Naruto decided to take note of his surroundings, he realized that his feet had unconsciously taken him to the place that Iwasaki had given him directions for- Jiraiya's home. The house in front of him was much smaller than the jeweler's place, and while not dingy, it sported the look of having an owner who frankly didn't care much about it.

"Oh, what the hell," he murmured to himself as he made his way to the door and knocked.

And for the second time that day, Naruto Uzumaki was greeted by an older man with a shocked, "You-!"

**X;**

Author's note 2: Proof that I'm still alive. And I'd really really like to thank everyone who's reading this, especially the reviewers and returning readers. Apologies for inserting so many original characters- but I tried to make them realistic. Apologies for this incoherent, short chapter- I really need to edit it. Sorry!

Honestly, I didn't even _think_ about not letting Naruto and Sasuke see each other again, but _LadyBug_ said something about no reunion. Opinions, anyone?

I'm heavily leaning for reunion, which would happen in the next one-two chapters. But _LadyBug _did spark something in my brain. Something suspiciously like an alternate plotline. Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter.

Lyrics are from _Five for Fighting's 100 years, Vanessa Carlton's The Wreckage, Vanessa Carlton's Afterglow, (my) I miss you, Blink182's What's my age again?_ Comments would be very much appreciated.


	6. like sitting on a citadel

Disclaimer: Naruto and everything associated don't belong to me, neither do the lyrics. I'm not claiming ownership of anyone's ideas. I'm just borrowing.

Basics: PG13/T, General/Drama/Romance/Angst, AU, (?) chapters

Warnings: Boy x boy love, boy x girl love, profanity, mild mature themes

Summary: Sasuke always did mean to leave Konoha, and that intention breaks Naruto's heart. But fate pulls a 180, and instead it is Naruto that leaves, and Sasuke is the heartbroken one.

Author's notes: Edited, and now I like this a little more. Yay. So onwards, and I hope you'll like it as much if not more than I do.

**X;**

**Counting the ways**  
_to where you are._

**X;**

Iruka Umino peered wearily into his adopted son's bedroom. It was not empty, and a half-smile ghosted over the schoolteacher's face. Sasuke had let himself in again, and his still form was sprawled on Naruto's bedroom floor, along with many mementoes that Sasuke had apparently been looking before falling asleep. Iruka looked away from the sleeping boy to exchange glances with Kakashi Hatake, who was leaning against a wall in the kitchen with a lazy expression on his face.

Iruka went to a closet and pulled out a blanket and quietly maneuvered himself through Naruto's room, to drape over Sasuke's slumbering form.

Iruka knelt by the teenager and gently unrolled the blanket and covered Sasuke with it. But as Iruka turned to move away, a quick hand caught his wrist.

Iruka suddenly found himself startled into meeting the dark eyes of the Uchiha boy, which were wide-open as the obviously now-awake teenager had sat up. But upon closer inspection, Iruka noticed that those eyes were lit with a fevered light. The grip on Iruka's wrist loosened as the quiet seconds passed while teacher and his son's best friend looked at each other, until Sasuke's hand let go completely.

"Sorry." The teenager muttered reluctantly. "I thought…"

Iruka smiled, but it was a tired one. "I know."

They both looked at the photo closest to Sasuke. It was a picture taken at the end of their freshman year, and Naruto was smiling cheekily at the camera, one arm slung around Sakura's shoulders and the other slung around Sasuke's. Iruka remembered taking that picture, when they were all so radiant at the prospect of the coming summer.

Sasuke remembered that summer, too.

"_Hello, Sashhhuke." His guardian Taniguchi greeted. Sasuke hated the singsong voice that his middle-aged cousin used to mutilate his name. God. And to think he'd actually had fun at the party that Naruto had thrown to celebrate the end of their school year, Sasuke reflected. It would figure that his day would end like this._

"_You're drunk." Sasuke stated blandly. The smell of alcohol was positively awful in the summer heat. Sasuke opened a window to air out their apartment and wondered how many of the city's elite hid secrets like the remnants of the Uchiha family did. _

_Taniguchi swaggered over and grinned maliciously. "Aren't I always, dear little relative?" It was true. But the man was leaning too close to him, staring too intently with unfocused eyes. "Because life isn't worth living the right way, you little fucker! You know that, don't you?!" Taniguchi screamed at him. The pathetic, weak man with the too-oily sniveling disposition, was transformed by the grace of alcohol into a raving, enraged man sick of life, and apparently, sick of Sasuke._

_Sasuke had never seen Taniguchi like this in all the years that he'd lived with him._

"_Your brother- they're going to get him, you know, they're going get the sick fucking bastard. They saw him- you know- they saw him!" Taniguchi laughed deliriously, gulping air like a dying fish. An unpleasant sound that was nothing compared to the rising roar in Sasuke's ears. _

"_Itachi's been sighted?" Sasuke breathed harshly. He'd later find out, combing the newspapers and the Internet, that his brother had indeed been seen slinking around a city not too far away from Konoha a couple weeks ago. He'd later find out- to his infinite frustration and anger- that the said brother had vanished again without a trace._

_But now he only stared at Taniguchi, who was yelling something worse at him. "And you look exactly fucking like him, you little shit. But they're going to get him, and-"_

"_Shut the fuck up." Sasuke snarled. He abruptly left the room, ducking a bottle that was chucked at him, not even glancing back as the bottle shattered against the wall behind him. "They're not going to get him, because that'll be me. I'm going to get him."_

Sasuke remembered how it would consume him, and when Naruto tried to ask as a secretly concerned best friend, how Sasuke would only snap at him. And how the arguments ensued.

And how… how Itachi didn't seem to matter now. Or, Itachi mattered. But Naruto mattered more.

Sasuke became distinctly aware that Iruka was still looking at him with concern. And pity, he thought, but Sasuke knew that it was because Iruka cared about him, that Iruka still thought of him- and Naruto and Sakura- of still somehow being the young students that he had taught in junior high.

"It's just that- he" Sasuke didn't need to explain who 'he' might be. "He'd… do things like what you just did." Sasuke tried to keep his voice as emotionless as possible. But how many times had Sasuke found Naruto doing something simple, and kind, and had wondered why his heart gave a twinge and why he felt like smiling as if he didn't have a cold-hearted bastard rep to maintain?

"I know," Iruka said again. Then, "You're welcome to stay for dinner, you know."

Sasuke didn't even have to say thank you as Iruka smiled, got up, and left the room to rejoin Kakashi.

Iruka Umino found his boyfriend sitting down at the kitchen table. Much of Kakashi's face was hidden by his shockingly silver hair but Iruka could tell there was concern in his expression anyway. The junior high teacher looked at the high school teacher who taught his son and his son's friends, and tried to reassure him through their connected gaze.

"You okay?" Kakashi asked lightly, as his vision trailed Iruka pulling out a chair and sitting down heavily.

"Yeah." Iruka replied, eyes closed. "Or I will be when he comes home."

Kakashi leaned across the tabletop to give Iruka a quick kiss on the forehead. "He will."

**X;**

"You're supposed to be dead." Jiraiya said bluntly, pushing a hand through his shockingly white hair.

"Well, I'm not." Naruto muttered, reclining in a warm armchair. God, it seems like its been forever since he's arrived in Hara, and it only happened yesterday. It seems so long ago since he met Ami in the morning in a buoyant quest for his parentage, and now, well. This. _This_. Naruto closed his brilliant blue eyes, leaned against the coarse cloth of the armrest, and allowed himself to just… _relax_.

Jiraiya took a moment to look at the obviously exhausted teenager slumped in his living room. Lanky form stretched out on his armchair with a book bag at his feet, and the necklace and tag around his neck. The bright golden mess of hair, the blue eyes currently closed, and the strong handsome features that Jiraiya knew well on another face. Jiraiya's eyes lingered on the scarred cheeks.

"Hey. Brat. Don't fall asleep on me, hey?"

One blue eye opened drowsily, and then drooped shut.

In spite of himself, the somewhat grumpy fifty-something man felt a small grin forming. "C'mon, Naruto. You can shower upstairs. Guest room at the end of the hall."

"Kay." The boy slurred, heaving his body up and lumbering away in the general direction of the stairs, book bag dangling from one hand. But before making his way completely up, "Hey- thanks-" Naruto remembered to say before disappearing from Jiraiya's sight. The older man made a dismissive noise in his throat and Naruto smiled sleepily.

After his shower, Naruto felt conscious enough to pull out the log he'd been keeping of his journey. Flopping down on the guest bed, which was just a tad too short for his growing frame (but infinitely better than the hotel bed), Naruto rummaged around in his bag for a pencil and started scrawling.

_Day 4. Last night, met Ami. Prostitute, but not what I thought. Really pretty and all, and sweet. Turns out Iwasaki was a bastard after all. Found Jiraiya. Jiraiya apparently was my dad's mentor and friend, says he'll tell me everything tomorrow… Jiraiya, why does his name sound familiar… grumpy guy who has a lot of porn in his living room, but a good man at heart. _

With that, Naruto wondered what it would have been like to have known Jiraiya all his life, to grow up in Hara with his father- who was apparently a really liked guy- and- his… mother. Naruto reached up to touch the scars on his cheeks, and began feeling sleepy again. It really _had_ been a long day and Naruto's eyelids kept closing. Hoping that Jiraiya really wasn't some child molester, Naruto reached to switch off the lamp beside him.

Then again, Naruto grinned faintly, judging by the man's porn, Jiraiya's tendencies leaned towards the other side, so Naruto didn't think he had anything to worry about.

That was his last coherent thought before dropping off to sleep.

**X;**

Sasuke was still lying around on Naruto's floor, onyx eyes staring into the ceiling. God he _missed_ the dobe. Why Sasuke was torturing himself by staying in Naruto's room, he didn't know. He stretched out his arms, making an arc, until he hit something under Naruto's bed, causing something to slide out. Sasuke, mildly curious, found that it was a book of maps.

Funny thing was, it was _open_. To a page that had been _ripped _out.

Now… why would Naruto rip out a page of a map book…? Why would Naruto even think of _looking_ in a map book in the first place?

Sasuke sat straight up and looked closer at the map book and the edges of the missing page. He dragged a slim finger across the surface of the laminated pages, tracing the blue names and the green planes and the network of red lines. The page- it wasn't very dusty. Meaning it hadn't been there… very long. Sasuke's brows made a downward dip as he thought of the possibilities. Could… could it be-?

Would there be any other reason… other than… other than… Sasuke tried to wipe his mind blank, even as his breathing became irregular and short as he stared at the remnants of the torn page.

Once an idea was planted by desperation and a hint, and nurtured by wild hope, it was very hard to stop it from sprouting and reaching for the light.

Sasuke turned to the index and looked for the name of the city that had been the feature of the missing page.

_Hara._

'Goddamnit if I'm wrong,' Sasuke thought as he hauled his ass out of Naruto's bedroom, map book in hand. He muttered some excuse and some sort of farewell to Iruka and Kakashi, who were discussing something in the kitchen. Iruka started to inquire about Sasuke leaving but changed his mind and merely nodded in what Iruka hoped was an encouraging way.

**X;**

"Sasuke! I'm kind of busy right now-" Sakura said, in a strange voice that Sasuke knew that there must be someone else there. 'Kind of busy' probably translated into 'Saturday date with Lee.'

"Sakura, I'm leaving."

"…" There was a brief silence at the other end of the line. "… So you know where he is then." Sakura fervently hoped that they were talking about Naruto and not Itachi.

"A wild guess."

Sakura almost laughed at that one, Sasuke Uchiha _never_ made wild guesses and he _definitely _never acted upon them. "But what if he doesn't want to be found…?"

"I don't care."

Sakura almost laughed at that one, too. A sad laugh, it would have been. Now, she knew it had to be Naruto, noting the lack of profanity and venomous rage. Instead, she thought about how Sasuke was refraining from saying that he was going crazy without Naruto, about the underline of vague panic as the days passed.

"Does Iruka know?" Sakura asked quietly. Lee was looking at her funnily, but Sakura motioned for him to wait a second, and she smiled to show him that she'd be there soon.

"No. I dropped by the… orphanage, but that Tsunade wasn't there. So I'll take a train. Quicker. And I'll be back by Monday."

"Sasuke-"

"Don't tell anyone I'm gone. Taniguchi won't even notice." _Won't even care._

"Sasuke-"

"If he's there, I'll drag his ass back."

"Sas-"

_Click._ Sakura stared at her cell phone after Sasuke hung up. She caught up with Lee and linked hands with him. Lee grinned with such intensity that Sakura felt herself lightening up too. "I don't want to lose you, too," she told him seriously.

"Why would you lose me, Sakura-chan?" Lee inquired with honest curiosity and innocence. What was his girlfriend getting at? But Sakura just shook her head gently and leaned against him. Lee dropped an affectionate kiss on her forehead- that he incidentally thought was perfect, despite what Sakura herself thought- and Sakura pulled him down for a real kiss.

**X;**

It was a cloudy, pearly-skied morning that Naruto had awoken to, unmolested albeit slightly confused in Jiraiya's house.

Now, Jiraiya and Naruto were in Hara's local cemetery, paused in front of one grave particularly.

Naruto now sat cross-legged in just-laundered jeans in the grass, staring ahead of him, blue eyes roving over the dark characters engraved in stone. He reached out to run his fingers over the indentations, followed his father's name. _Arashi Kazuma_. And then there were beautiful things carved in the stone about his father, but nothing mentioned that Arashi _had_ been a father.

"He was… loved?"

"Respected, adored, honored, all that jazz. Your father was a good governor. A good man." Jiraiya said, standing behind him.

Naruto grinned. "That's great." But then the grin slipped off his mischievous face. The big question that hovered, the one that Naruto knew he was going to ask and Jiraiya knew he had to answer spilled from his lips. "So what happened?"

Naruto thought it was remarkable that he had managed to keep his voice from wobbling.

"He married your mother. _Beautiful_ woman. It seemed like the perfect match at the time."

"So _what happened_?"

"I'm getting there, brat." Jiraiya huffed indignantly, but it was half-hearted. "She went crazy." Jiraiya put it bluntly, carefully watching the teenager's face. It was blank. So he continued, "She used her power as governor's wife to do things. Little things, at first, like stealing odd objects for fun. And then it got worse. Shady dealings. Unexplained murders."

Naruto's face was still empty, and his hands stopped moving and instead gripped each other in a twisted version of prayer until he was tense and white-knuckled. Naruto heard himself say, "And then…"

"Your father didn't know until the end. He came home one day, and the house was a mess and- and your mother was standing over you holding a knife."

Naruto's eyes widened, as his suddenly-hoarse voice rasped out, "Oh, fuck. That was _real_?"

_A very pretty red-haired woman is standing over him, and a blade caresses the skin of his cheek as she laughs. There is the bite of the knife as metal parts skin. She laughs again, and the knife is raised again. His cheeks are wet, wet, wet…_

"When you were one, she tried to kill you- and your father tried to stop her."

Naruto raised a hand to his cheek, a little amazed at the instant headache brewing in his noggin. "I always thought that was some fucked-up nightmare." Then, he turned Jiraiya's words over and over in his head. "Tried?"

"Everyone here was told you were dead."

"And instead I got shipped off to some crappy orphanage." _Unwanted_. "And then what?"

"She committed suicide at the end. And Arashi died of the knife wounds she gave him in the struggle."

"Oh."

"And I was, am your godfather."

"Oh."

Naruto couldn't think of anything else to say and Jiraiya just didn't have anything more to say. Naruto sat and Jiraiya stood as the wind entwined its airy tendrils through their hair. Naruto pulled his necklace out of his shirt and took comfort in its message. _Beloved son_. 'He loved me.' Naruto thought and was content.

Naruto smiled crookedly; the wild fluttering bird of uncertainty that had beat so hard in his chest had been tamed. He had had a family, and he had a story for those scars. And he had a new friend in Ami and he had a new godfather. He had an origin and he wasn't just 'nobody' anymore. He was Naruto Uzumaki of Hara, proud son of Arashi Kazuma, not-so-proud son of Kyuubi, and godson of Jiraiya. He was…

… missing half of who he was.

Naruto blinked at the realization.

There was a Naruto Uzumaki of Konoha, too.

And suddenly, everything he had known for his entire life flooded back into his mind. Like a silent movie, a shuffling of photographs, Naruto was reminded of Naruto Uzumaki of Konoha and the Konoha orphanage. Adopted son of Iruka, almost-son to Kakashi. He was Naruto the high school student, Naruto the almost-brother/self-appointed guardian of the too-pretty Sakura. Naruto Uzumaki, friend of Neji, Gaara, Hinata, Kiba, Shikamaru, Shino, Chouji… Naruto Uzumaki, best-friend-crushing-on of Sasuke Uchiha.

Naruto wondered why he didn't realize there was so much in Konoha, why there were so many in Konoha who already loved him. Naruto wondered why he had been feeling so lonely these past few months and what possessed him to start on his insane journey for his roots.

Well, Naruto conceded, he didn't regret it. No, he was glad to know who he had been, and he was glad t have found Ami and Jiraiya. But now it was time to get back to being who he had become.

"Hey Jiraiya? I think it's time for me to go back to Konoha."

"What, so soon?" Jiraiya was surprised, but only a little. He had been watching certain emotions play across the boy's face. "You're welcome to stay, though." Jiraiya added honestly, even thought he knew Naruto wouldn't.

Naruto nodded resolutely to the first question and shook determinedly to the second, and Jiraiya hid a grin. "All right kid, let's get you to the train station."

"First, I gotta stop by to say bye to someone."

**X;**

"Hey, is this seat taken?" a voice politely inquired. Naruto looked up and for a second, he thought it was Sasuke. But it wasn't. It was a stranger around his age, a teenage boy that somewhat resembled Sasuke. Naruto was staring at the kid, and it wasn't until the stranger made a suggesting noise in his throat that Naruto started, realizing that the stranger wanted an answer.

Naruto blushed faintly. "Eh heh heh. No, it's not."

The stranger sat himself across from Naruto. Noticing that Naruto held a notebook in his hands and was furiously scribbling away at something, the other boy decided to ask about it. "What's that?"

"I just took a trip, and I wanted to write down some things so I'd remember them," Naruto explained with a cheerful grin. "I took photos of my new friends, too." The smile brightened even further as Naruto thought about the sweet goodbye between him and Ami and then between him and his godfather who had gruffly promised to come by soon.

"Oh, that sounds really nice."

Naruto scrutinized the stranger's face to weigh his sincerity, but Naruto had a feeling the guy meant it anyway, despite the oddly too-pleasant tone that the guy spoke in.

"It was," Naruto told him. "Where are you going, by the way?"

"Konoha, actually."

"Me too!" Naruto replied excitedly. He noticed the other boy's quizzical look at his energy. Naruto laughed out loud at that. "Oh god, I know I sound fucking hyper, but it's because I just figured out something."

_And I'm about to see Iruka and Kakashi and Sakura… and ohgod, Sasuke again. _Naruto shoved away all rising fear about facing them all- and instead looked expectantly at the stranger, who seemed amused.

The other boy suddenly leaned across, shortening the distance between them. He extended his hand and Naruto shook it without hesitation. "I'm Sai," he said, a small smile hovering on his lips, his eyes searching Naruto's.

"And I'm Naruto Uzumaki. Nice to meet you!"

**X;**

"We're going to be there at 4, aren't we, Sai?"

"I believe so Naruto."

**X;**

_What if I fall?  
__What if I don't?  
__What if I never make it home?_

**X;**

Four p.m. found Sasuke Uchiha and a messenger bag waiting for the 4:15 train that would bring him to Hara by 8 at night. And that would have given him Sunday to find Naruto if he was there, and then they could've gotten back to Konoha together by Monday morning. And then it would have been _all okay_. Something that Sasuke's life had not been for the past week.

Four-fifteen train, find Naruto on Sunday, bring him back by Monday. That was the plan.

The plan that was abruptly smashed to pieces when Sasuke, already impatient and wondering if he was delusional for doing the whole thing, saw Naruto- _oh my fucking god _Naruto- getting _off_ a train on the opposite _fucking _platform.

Holy shit.

And he was with someone. 'Who the fuck is _he_?'

Another stunned moment of disbelief passed without action. And then Sasuke turned and bolted back into the main train station. He pushed past would-be passengers as he caught sight of that ridiculous mop of blond hair. 'Oh-my-god _Naruto _you moron.' And yet he couldn't deny the jubilation that was rushing through his veins, the _pure joy_ he felt at knowing that his moron was home, safe. With him.

Or not with him… Sasuke watched as the other guy leaned in and kissed Naruto – _his _Naruto, goddamnit – on the cheek.

What. The. Fuck. Sasuke pushed himself faster, willing his legs to run even faster before Naruto and that guy melted into the crowd. Sasuke had the funny thought that if he didn't catch them now, that he'd never see Naruto again, that it was only a wishful hallucination in the first place.

Sasuke finally caught up, thrusting himself between the two other young men. And the only thing he could do… was utter one name. First, Sasuke looked into a face that looked almost like his own – _fuck you, _Sasuke thought venomously - and then he looked into a bewildered pair of wide, wonderfully blue eyes belonging to the one he loved most in all the world. "Naruto."

**X;**

Author's note 2: Hope you liked. Thanks for making it all the way down!

Lyrics are from _Five for Fighting's 100 years, Vanessa Carlton's The Wreckage, Vanessa Carlton's Afterglow, (my) I miss you, Blink182's What's my age again?_, _Anna Nalick's Citadel. _Comments would be very much appreciated.


	7. to walk a thousand

Disclaimer: Naruto and everything associated don't belong to me, neither do the lyrics. I'm not claiming ownership of anyone's ideas. I'm just borrowing.

Basics: PG13/T, General/Drama/Romance/Angst, AU, (?) chapters

Warnings: Boy x boy love, boy x girl love, profanity, mild mature themes

Summary: Sasuke always did mean to leave Konoha, and that intention breaks Naruto's heart. But fate pulls a 180, and instead it is Naruto that leaves, and Sasuke is the heartbroken one.

Author's note 1: Hi everyone. It's super great that you even clicked your way in here. Onwards!

**X;**

**Counting the ways**  
_to where you are._

**X;**

Naruto had been faintly blushing at the small kiss Sai had given him when a voice forced him to look over his shoulder. The light brushing of uncomfortable pink over his scarred cheeks rapidly vanished into a color far paler. What- or _who_- Naruto saw resulted in the draining away of all of the hues in his tan face.

Sasuke.

A tremendous swelling of emotion hit Naruto with all the force of a punch to the gut- something Naruto thought he'd probably be getting from Sasuke anyway- and Naruto swore his heart, clichéd as it sounded, was going to burst or _stop_ when he realized his best friend had decided to be the bastard he was and abruptly show up like that. And for a moment, his entire world was suspended as Naruto looked at the achingly familiar slender boy with blue-black hair, the intense dark eyes, and the pale complexion.

What did bother Naruto, though, was the fact that he couldn't read _at all_ the odd expression that his impassive best friend wore. Sasuke was always somewhat indecipherable, but Naruto had _never_ seen _that_ look on his face before.

They stood there, Sasuke and Naruto, face to face as the crowd of people moved around them, murmured around them, ignored them. A clock somewhere above them muttered off the seconds, but neither heard.

_Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you?_

Their last encounter was all too distinct in their minds, all too vivid on how intent they were on hurting each other. 'Or how intent _I_ was trying to hurt him, at any rate,' Sasuke admitted silently, looking at Naruto, wondering if the other could somehow read his apologetic thoughts. When Naruto looked at him like that, with those so bright, so deep eyes, Sasuke thought that maybe Naruto did know exactly what he was thinking.

Naruto was wondering where the fuck all the oxygen went. Why couldn't he breathe, damnit?

A small polite noise startled them both out of that strange trance- real world rushing back and bleeding into reality- and two sets of eyes darted immediately to Sai, who smiled placidly. Sasuke immediately felt a more-than-vague annoyance at the third boy, and Sai pointedly ignored the kind of look that Sasuke was directing at him.

"Naruto, do you know him?" Sai inquired pleasantly.

Naruto blinked roughly. "Y-yeah." Managing to get his suddenly dry throat unstuck, Naruto finally found his voice, and his affirmation came out in a rougher tone than he had meant to use.

Naruto missed the quicksilver pained look that skated across Sasuke's expression.

"Uh. Sai, this is Sasuke. Bastard, this is Sai." Naruto continued carelessly, sneaking looks at the Uchiha as he made the necessary introductions. Goddamnit, his heart was beating fast- too fast.

"Hello." Sai said, still in that almost mockingly friendly voice. Naruto wondered if Sai was intentionally trying to piss off Sasuke, and then dismissed the thought, for what reason could Sai have for _that_? But, whatever Sai was trying to pull, it was working. Naruto observed the slight stiffening of his best friend.

"Hello." Sasuke replied coldly, aloof. _Sasuke… that arrogant jackass_. Naruto shot him an accusing look. That immediately sparked a little flame of anger within the Uchiha.'Why, Naruto? Why are you fucking protecting him?' _Have you replaced me…?_ Sasuke's back straightened even more, and he swore that the temperature had dropped a couple degrees. Replacement! That thought hurt, too.

There was an awkward, heavy silence.

Sasuke watched with narrowed eyes as Sai gave Naruto an expectant look, and Naruto, upon receiving it, seemed to remember something. With a small smile and a general gesture, Sai started walking ahead with his luggage and Naruto turned to Sasuke.

"Oi! Bastard, could you just wait- wait for me, okay?" Naruto asked, pointing to a wooden bench against one of the train station's walls. "I'll be right back." Then Sasuke watched the blond teenager bound off to rejoin Sai's side. Sasuke was still watching as the two disappeared out the main entrance and into the streets, watched the retreating backs until he could not see them anymore. 'I'm-not-jealous-shit-no-I'm-NOT'

Sasuke mused on whether or not he should be really be letting the moron walk out like that. _Will you leave me again? _Sasuke wondered if he'd be left waiting, if this was just Naruto vanishing off.

How much would that hurt? _A lot_.

Naruto said he'd be right back.

And Naruto never lied- never ever lied. _But do you even know him, anymore? Who is he when he's the boy who ran away? Who is he when he's so familiar with people you don't know?_ A nasty little voice whispered into his ear. Sasuke wanted to snarl and snap at someone, something, but he merely tightened the grip on his luggage handle.

Sasuke didn't sit down on the bench that Naruto had indicated. Instead, he stood standing, waiting as seconds melted into the fast production of the past. Would he still be standing here an hour later? Two hours later? Three?

His heart clenched. _Naruto_. And he knew he'd be waiting there all evening if it came to that.

It didn't come to that.

Sasuke's eyes caught the movement of a bright blond head, weaving through the crowd in a not-so-graceful manner. … He had never known such relief as the warmth-and-chill that swept through him now.

_Now what?_

Naruto felt distinctly awkward as he made his way through the crowd, with Sasuke's emotionless gaze riveted on him. He pushed past nameless people as inside he quivered like a string pulled taut. When at last he stood in front of his best friend, Naruto looked at him dead in the eye, and said only, "Well… I'm back."

When Sasuke didn't say anything, Naruto's internals only tightened further, knotting and twisting. He closed his eyes, feeling condemned forever to this cold silence in the midst of the train station's bustle. Naruto had _known_ Sasuke would be pissed, angry, mad at him. Sasuke would call him a hypocrite, relentlessly, and this time Naruto would know he was right. Sasuke would never again even think of listening to him. Sasuke would- Sasuke- would-

Even as he felt like he was suffocating, drowning in the negativity and the never-agains, Naruto managed to pull back the joy he first felt when he turned around and saw Sasuke. And then he threw all thought out the window as he defiantly pushed against the wave of chilliness he felt that his friend was piling upon him.

Naruto threw all thought out the window, and instead, threw his arms around his friend, the boy he loved, lunging forward in an embrace.

"I missed you, bastard."

Sasuke stood stock still for a second. Naruto looped his arms around the Uchiha's shoulders, Naruto's face against Sasuke's neck. _Please don't hate me, Sasuke. _Naruto was about to start backing away when he felt Sasuke's arms encircle his waist, returning the hug. Sasuke could feel a small smile against his neck. 'Was… was Sakura right? Naruto, do you love me as I love you?' Sasuke wondered, tightening his hold. 'We can deal with the problems later…'

Nothing ever felt more _right_ to Naruto than being held by Sasuke Uchiha.

But peeking over the brunet's shoulder, he wondered at why Sasuke was carrying an overnight bag. He wondered why Sasuke was even _at_ the train station anyway. Had Sasuke been running off as well? Running off to his psycho-murderer brother…? But then… why would Sasuke make an effort to stop Naruto and talk to him and… wouldn't Sasuke have wanted to _sneak _off? Wouldn't Sasuke have known that in meeting up with Naruto, Naruto would try to stop him?

Naruto was confused. He let go of Sasuke, and felt the arms around his waist immediately loosen to let him go. 'Is… is Sasuke blushing?' Naruto wondered, looking at the other boy's face.

"Sasuke? Why do you have a bag with you?" Naruto couldn't help but be blunt, and just a little accusatory. But to his amazement, it seemed that Sasuke only reddened a bit _more_.

And then the pieces started assembling themselves in Naruto's mind. "You're not going after Itachi…" the blond stated slowly, rather than questioned. Looking at Sasuke's face, Naruto knew he was on the right track. Then something caught his eye. Naruto plucked a ticket sticking out of the breast pocket of Sasuke's black button-up shirt. "_Hara_?" Naruto read it off wonderingly. "You weren't going after Itachi… you were going after… _me._"

Naruto began laughing weakly at the realization. "Holy shit."

"Stop laughing, dumb ass." Sasuke muttered, vaguely irritated, but more embarrassed.

"Holy shit." Naruto said again, disregarding the Uchiha's order to stop laughing. He was emitting the breathy sort of disbelieving chuckle, reading the ticket over and over again. He wondered how Sasuke had figured out where he went. But he knew Sasuke was a smart bastard, so what amazed him more was that… "Fuck. Wow. You do care."

Sasuke narrowed his dark eyes at that. "Idiot. Is that so hard to believe?" Sasuke asked lowly, directing his glance away from his best friend.

"Well…" Naruto scratched the back of his head, somewhat sheepishly with a silly little smile on his face. "You _did_ say…"

Sasuke flinched at the reminder of the cruel words he had inflicted upon Naruto, how those words had haunted him for the whole week thereafter. "… Naruto… I'm sorry."

"Damn. This day keeps getting weirder huh? Did Sasuke Uchiha just _apologize _to me? Using my _name_?" Naruto joked, still laughing that funny little laugh, and this pissed Sasuke off.

"God_damn_it Naruto. I'm _serious_. Why do you have to make a joke of everything?" Sasuke shot at him, looking up furiously. Naruto shut up immediately. Sasuke tried once more. "I didn't mean what I said."

"… Thanks." Naruto replied quietly. Naruto wanted to apologize too, but the way Sasuke looked at him, Naruto thought Sasuke already knew. There's time to verbalize it later, Naruto decided. He could find the words to not royally screw it up… later. He would. He would let Sasuke know that things would be all right between them.

Naruto glanced up at the clock mounted on the train station wall. "Hey, Sasuke-bastard. It's Saturday, right?" At Sasuke's nod, a sly grin stretched across the blond's face. "Lee and Sakura are probably on a date right now, right?" Naruto cackled. "Let's go crash."

Walking out together, Naruto kept sneaking looks at his companion. 'Sasuke, you don't know how much it means to me… that you were willing to go after me.'

_If I could fall into the sky  
Do you think time would pass me by?  
You know I'd walk a thousand miles  
If I could just… see… you  
If I could just… hold… you  
Tonight._

Sasuke would not admit that his heart pounded and hammered with elation that Naruto was back, but it did.

**X;**

Sakura and Lee were walking with hands loosely intertwined out of Konoha's movie theater. Lee was animatedly discussing the movie they'd seen, but Sakura's heart wasn't in it. She kept thinking about Sasuke, Sasuke on the train alone, Naruto, Naruto, god-knows-where her favorite blondie was. What if Naruto lay dead somewhere, mauled and beaten by gangsters? Or what if Sasuke's train crashed? What if…?

Sakura was a worrier by nature.

Sakura's hand felt Lee's tighten over hers. "Uh, Sakura-chan? Do you feel like… we're being followed…?" Lee was about to turn around and scan the vicinity when someone grabbed him. Sakura screamed when her boyfriend slipped out of her view, screaming louder when someone grabbed her own waist, muffled only when the one behind her put a hand over her mouth.

She stilled when Rock Lee came in sight again, accompanied by a smirking Sasuke. Lee looked slightly peeved at having been manhandled by the Uchiha, but Lee was also smiling a wide grin at her and behind her. 'If that's Sasuke over there…' The hand over her mouth lifted, and she felt herself being gently released and the terrible roaring in her ears caused by fear was replaced by the sound of familiar, mischievous laughter.

Sakura slowly turned around and shrieked with – joy. "Naruto!" She launched herself at her previously missing blond friend and he opened his arms out as she promptly and thoroughly glomped the teenager. "Oh my god, Naruto, you're alive, and you're not lying dead in some city and you're here, my god you're _here_… and here Sasuke was going to go after you and everything and he missed you, did you know that, you idiot, he missed you, and _I _missed you…" Sakura mumbled on and on into Naruto's loose white t-shirt.

"Eh heh heh." Naruto grinned down at Sakura. "Sorry for worrying you, Red."

"Worrying me? Damn straight you _worried_ me. And now the first thing you do is terrify me, jerk!" Sakura pushed herself off of Naruto and bapped him on the head. "I can't believe you scared me like that!" She scolded, yet she was beaming at him.

"Did you go home to Iruka yet?"

""Ah… no." A slightly apprehensive shadow passed over Naruto's face, and Sakura guessed something of why Naruto had come to see her first.

"He's worried sick about you, too." Sakura said, more gently. "He's not going to disown you. Come on, let's all bring you home."

Sakura stepped over Lee and took his hand. "Glad you're back, Naruto!" Lee said cheerfully to the younger boy. Sakura tugged Lee toward Iruka's apartment. "Come on guys, let's go."

"Thanks, bushy-brows." Naruto said honestly. "Coming, Red." He said to the pink-haired girl as the couple started to walk ahead. "I'll be right there."

Sasuke came up beside him, looking at him quizzically. Naruto told him, "You're coming too, emo-boy."

Sasuke rolled his eyes at the term 'emo-boy' but nodded affirmatively. "Of course I am, dobe."

"And Sasuke?"

"Hn?"

"Thanks… I mean, it means a lot that, that you were going to…"

Sasuke offered him a rare smile. "I know, dobe."

**X;**

"Iruka, you have visitors." Kakashi stepped aside to show Lee, Sakura, and Sasuke. Iruka stared at them. What were they doing here, randomly on a Saturday night? Iruka was sitting at the kitchen table, and he smiled warmly, if curiously. They were all wearing varied expressions with identical glee. Kakashi, Lee, Sakura, even Sasuke. _What was going on?_

All of them stepped aside.

Iruka immediately stood up, knocking the old wooden fold-up chair to the floor where it hit with a dull thud ignored by the chair's previous inhabitant. "Naruto, "Iruka murmured, and the gathered group could see that his kind dark eyes were glimmering. The addressed boy smiled a somewhat timid smile at his former teacher and his adoptive father. "Iruka-sensei." He said carefully, moving toward the person who had fished him out of a terrible life, the person he called _father_ in his heart.

The older man drew him in a tight embrace. "Iruka… aren't you mad at me?" Naruto mumbled into the man's shirt. "I'm furious, Naruto, but we'll deal with that later." His adoptive father replied. Then, "I'm glad you're home." Iruka released Naruto and smiled brightly at the group of guests he had, from his boyfriend to his ex-students/Naruto's friends.

"Let's go out to eat, ne?"

The group cheered, especially the younger ones, and Naruto cheered loudest of all.

"Then you get to tell us all a story, right Naruto?" Kakashi asked, the one eye that wasn't hidden by his silver hair curved in a happy arc.

"Mmm. Only if it's ramen! You don't know how much I missed that stuff. Man. I don't know _how _the hell I survived a week without it!" Naruto said, nodding seriously.

"Dobe." Sasuke muttered.

"Hey, I heard that Sasuke-teme!"

**X;**

The clatter and bustle of Ichiraku's Ramen Shop was always something Naruto loved, and the boy was practically glowing under the combined ambience of the bright lights and the soft brightness of red paper lanterns that hung from the ceiling. Hell, Naruto glowed with more radiance than either medium of light. 'He really is happy to be home,' Sasuke mused.

Sasuke wondered if he was being delusional- _hopeful? _- or was it that Naruto was really constantly touching him? Not that he minded, no, not at all. But with Sakura giving him conspiratorial winks across the table and Lee nodding pseudo-sagely, with Iruka looking at him over his bowl of Ichiraku's ramen and with Kakashi making thinly-veiled innuendoes all throughout dinner- and Naruto not noticing _any_ of it- Sasuke had almost had enough.

He decided instead to focus on the story that Naruto was telling.

"Well, see, I took the bus out to Sakei- that's where I emailed you, Sakura!- and from Sakei I kinda hitchhiked with old man Tazuna and his little grandson brat Inari. Then I got to Hara, town of my birth, and all this shit started happening. I met this girl Ami, who knew the guy I was looking for, Iwasaki- he made this, see-" Naruto put down his chopsticks and pulled the necklace from his white tee and showed them.

"And he was a real bastard." There was a brief injection of venom in the boy's voice, but Naruto was incapable of holding such malice, and it faded away to a light note of bitterness. Sasuke- having been called _bastard_ by Naruto for the greater deal of the years he had known him- knew that this form of _bastard _was one he never wanted to be called by.

"Anyway, he told me to go see Jiraiya- who's a bit of a pervert but a good guy- and so Ami goes back to… work… and I go to see Jiraiya, and it turns out that holy shit, I have a godfather. Yeah so Jiraiya's my godfather. But he also tells me… that I had famous parents in Hara, and that they died a long time ago, and I was supposed to be dead, too, and somehow ended up in the orphanage here. With Sasuke-bastard."

Naruto grinned at Sasuke, but Sasuke couldn't muster a return smile. Sasuke decided that he would have to ask the dobe to give him the unedited version of the story later. Sasuke snuck a peek at Iruka over his bowl of noodles and could read that Iruka was thinking the very same thing.

Sakura seemed to be suspicious, but not overly so, and the fact that the story was clearly censored seemed to be completely over Lee's head. And Kakashi… Kakashi was still smiling that funny little smile.

_I was supposed to be dead, too_. Under the table, Sasuke let his hand briefly rest on Naruto's knee as an attempt to… Sasuke didn't know, comfort maybe. Support. Damn. Uchihas didn't do these kinds of things. Maybe it was an _I'm there and I love you_, even if the latter half of that silent sentiment was a debatable matter.

Whatever Sasuke was trying to get across, Naruto received something positive, and the bright smile sent Sasuke's way made Sasuke thought maybe he got it right.

**X;**

The Uchiha apartment was a dark realm lit only by the bright images of the muted television. Taniguchi, inebriated guardian of Sasuke Uchiha, lay bonelessly on the couch, murmuring listlessly to himself about his own despair. Occasionally, his eyes would flick to the television, and he'd see something on the news that made him rant furiously to no one for a few enraged minutes.

He didn't know where the fuck his little shit of a charge was, and he didn't fucking care. But then Taniguchi thought he saw the stupid boy on TV. He looked closer, straining his fuzzy-with-alcohol eyes. Oh. It was the _other _one. Taniguchi fumbled around for the remote to switch off the mute on the TV and raised the volume instead.

"… a young man claiming to be Itachi Uchiha, the notorious murderer who slaughtered almost all of his immediate and extended family eight years ago, has been arrested in a police raid of a drug warehouse in downtown Konoh-"

Taniguchi started laughing in a sickly way. He took another swig from the bottle nestled in his lap, and spat it out when rising rage choked him. He hurled the bottle away, listening for the satisfying smash of glass and splash of liquor. Then he leaned over the side of the couch and puked.

**X;**

Author's note 2: Ah. Just when everything was sort of going right. Naruto's back! In both Shippuden and this story. Yay! And thank you guys so much for all the birthday greetings. And for the lovely reviews. You guys totally made my day(s).

This chapter roughly marks the halfway for this story. Thanks for sticking with it (and me) so far. The happy/sad ending question has yet to be decided, so you can still sway me. But thank you everyone in general and happy lunar new year.

Please join/subscribe to my C2 for complete and well-written SasuNaru/NaruSasu. Links and details in my profile.

Sorry for the long author's note! Unedited chap, but tell me how I'm doing.

Lyrics are from _Five for Fighting's 100 years, Vanessa Carlton's The Wreckage, Vanessa Carlton's Afterglow, (my) I miss you, Blink182's What's my age again?_, _Anna Nalick's Citadel, Liz Phair's Why Can't I, Vanessa Carlton's A Thousand Miles. _Comments would be very much appreciated.


	8. it's step by step

Disclaimer: Naruto and everything associated don't belong to me, neither do the lyrics. I'm not claiming ownership of anyone's ideas. I'm just borrowing.

Basics: PG13/T, General/Drama/Romance/Angst, AU, (?) chapters

Warnings: Boy x boy love, boy x girl love, profanity, mild mature themes

Summary: Sasuke always did mean to leave Konoha, and that intention breaks Naruto's heart. But fate pulls a 180 and instead it is Naruto that leaves, and Sasuke is the heartbroken one.

Author's note 1: Here's an update for you. Thanks so much for encouragement guys- really! But don't hesitate to concrit.

Um- I know this story, the emotions and feelings and intentions are all over the place, sometimes messy and contradictory, there's a lot of drama, angst, love, oh-no kind of thing- but it's, to some extent at least, intentional. You know- high school, hearts and hurts, teenagers, fifteen, all that intensity… Am I failing?

Please join/subscribe to Naruto-Sasuke C2! We're almost there to 900 fics. And we have a new community forum with fic recs, darlings. Go check it out please. Go!

**X;**

**Counting the ways**  
_to where you are._

**X;**

Later, when the spring sky had been thoroughly painted dark and their dinner at Ichiraku's had finally- reluctantly- drawn to a close, they were contentedly crowded into Kakashi's car, and Sasuke was staring at the glowing green numbers of the vehicle's clock that portrayed the time.

12:02 AM.

Sasuke wondered if Naruto was closer than he had to be, as they were sitting next to each other in the last seat of the old Dodge Caravan's three rows, and Sasuke could feel the warmth of Naruto's jean-covered knee casually against his own. He wondered if Naruto felt it distinctly too, or if Naruto was trying to unnerve him, or maybe Naruto wanted to be there or-

Sasuke decided he was over thinking it, and this mildly disgusted- disgusted?- him, and so decided to just let things be in the dark, comfortable silence in the van. Because really, Sakura and Lee were in the middle seat, Kakashi and Iruka were in the driver and passenger's seat up front, and Naruto was next to him, _right next _to him, and not in Hara nor next to that creepy queer bastard who kissed him in the train station.

"Naruto, what happened with that Sai kid?" Sasuke muttered to the boy next to him, so that Sakura and Lee wouldn't hear them. Sasuke didn't feel like sharing the train station moment with them. He loved Sakura, and he respected Lee, but he was still reeling from the way his senses had just quietly exploded with elation. Sasuke realized, with a faint blush, that he had tucked the moment close to his heart.

'What the hell is up with this love-thing?' Sasuke thought, slightly disgruntled.

"Oh, I just walked out with him. Cuz I promised and stuff," Naruto whispered back. Naruto didn't know why they were being secretive, but something in him indicated plainly that he didn't feel like discussing this with Sakura and her boyfriend, either. And what transpired in the train station-

A smile stretched across the whiskered cheeks- not the mischievous one, not the sly one, not the teasing one, not the exhilarated one.

The light bite of Sasuke's jealousy- not that he would admit to it- faded, and especially when Sasuke turned to look at Naruto.

Damn, the way he _smiled_…

Sasuke forced himself to turn away, because somewhere in his heart, a strange rising feeling was bursting out of his chest, so lifting it hurt.

"You _are_ staying over tonight, right?" Naruto asked him, in a more normal voice.

"When did we decide this, moron?" Sasuke replied, affecting some annoyance.

Naruto knew that his best friend was just being difficult, just because. At least, Naruto hoped so.

"Don't be a bastard."

"Hn."

Naruto stared at his best friend, unsure in the darkness of the van, and unconsciously, a small frown settled over the blond's face.

Maybe Sasuke wasn't kidding. Maybe Sasuke really didn't want to come over, despite this having never been the case before. But maybe, maybe, things changed over the course of a week, like how Naruto gained a past and a new addition to his family. Maybe he and Sasuke really _weren't_ okay as he thought they were in the train station.

"Did you ask Iruka yet, dobe?" Sasuke's ever-smooth voice broke through Naruto's formation of new disturbing thoughts. '_Oh. _He _is_ coming, then.'

"Gah! Bastard!" Naruto halfheartedly punched his best friend. "You-"

Sasuke just smirked. And then the too-cool-for-you tone softened slightly even if the next words followed in the same vein of condescension. "Don't be stupid."

**X;**

Kakashi pulled up in front of Iruka and Naruto's apartment building. "Well, we're here," the silver-haired remarked lightly, killing the engine and plucking the keys from ignition. The man pocketed his keys and looked over to his boyfriend, and then to the two teenagers in the back. Sakura and Lee had already been dropped off, and Sasuke and Naruto were left in the backmost seat.

"C'mon, I'll walk you guys up," Kakashi said mildly, getting out of the car. He was followed by Iruka and Iruka was followed by the noise of a car door sliding open and the boys hopping out. Kakashi walked ahead to hold open the door for the rest of the guys.

Naruto and Sasuke looked at the elevator that the adults were waiting for. They looked at the staircase to the right, and then they looked at each other. Naruto grinned. "Five floors, ten flights. You wanna?"

"You're an idiot." Sasuke snorted.

"Aww. You're just afraid you're gonna lose!" Naruto replied cockily, his blue eyes narrowed in laughter and confidence.

Sasuke glared. "Not likely, dimwit."

"All right, let's go then."

"You're on."

Kakashi and Iruka looked on, amused. Iruka shook his head as if to say, 'boys will be boys' and Kakashi chuckled, wondering which boy would win the impromptu stair race. Kakashi slipped an arm around the his slightly shorter, slender boyfriend and pulled him closer, satisfied that no one else occupied the lobby, with the boys gone.

"See, Iruka. Naruto came back, and he's fine." Kakashi murmured lowly into Iruka's ear. The body against him didn't relax, even as it leaned against the taller man. Iruka knew that Kakashi was not naïve- no, Kakashi was never naïve- and merely didn't mention all the worlds of hurt Naruto could have gone through.

Kakashi wasn't one to dance around difficult subjects, but as both of them knew full well what was going on, Kakashi spared the man he loved so much.

"I'm going to have to talk to him," Iruka sighed.

"Mhm." Kakashi hummed, "Elevator's here." Kakashi didn't let go of Iruka's waist, and instead, he maneuvered the both of them comfortably into the elevator. Iruka watched the doors slide close with a small _ding_ and closed his eyes as the elevator shifted and started moving up.

**X;**

Sasuke was leading, Naruto was merely two steps behind.

"Shit, Sasuke, you're fast," Naruto mumbled appreciatively, before proclaiming, "But I'm going to _so_ kick your ass, just you watch."

"Yeah, looks who's winning." Sasuke shot back.

They were starting on another flight when, in a true Naruto-esque fashion, Sasuke found that the blond teenager was almost right next to him. In an effort to push himself faster- competing with Naruto never lost its thrill, he reflected vaguely- Sasuke forced his steps a little faster. Unfortunately, his foot skidded on the edge of a stair step halfway through the flight, jarring his entire body.

_Shit_.

Sasuke leaned forward desperately to regain his balance- and he did. But the price was that his shoulder bumped Naruto's with enough force to cause the blond teenager to stumble and suddenly, Naruto wasn't next to him anymore.

Sasuke watched with something akin to horror as the other boy's form slid jerkily down the steps, until Naruto's body thudded down and settled at the landing.

"Fuck," Sasuke cursed as he hurried down to check if his best friend was all right.

"Aw, shit that hurt." Naruto complained lowly as he pulled himself into a sitting position against a wall.

"God, Naruto." Sasuke said, but gently, kneeling next to Naruto.

"Your fucking fault, asshole." Naruto said pleasantly, grimacing as he moved his limbs to make sure nothing was broken.

"Your idea to race in the first place," Sasuke reminded him, but fingers reached out check out Naruto's ankle through jeans. "But, yeah." Sasuke's expression twisted uncomfortably. "… Sorry."

"Kidding, Sas'ke. It wasn't really your fault." Naruto said earnestly. "Awright- aw _damn-_" Naruto let loose a short string of expletives. "That kind of hurts," he whined as Sasuke's finger probed a particularly aching spot on his ankle.

"I thought I saw you twist it. Can you walk?" Sasuke asked, getting up off the ground. Unconsciously, Sasuke darted a glance around at the gray-painted walls and sniffed at the musty odor so prevalent in Naruto's apartment building. Naruto noticed Sasuke observing around at their surroundings, and was a little embarrassed. He offered an apologetic glance to the Uchiha, but the Uchiha shrugged and merely held out a helping hand to the still-sitting Naruto.

"I dunno," Naruto shrugged.

"Try." Sasuke said shortly, still holding out a hand.

Naruto hesitated- Sasuke noticed- but accepted the help. Naruto gave one hand to Sasuke's outstretched one, and propped his other hand against the wall, making an awkward attempt to get up.

Sasuke silently pulled his friend forward with firm strength until the blond boy was standing steadily, though leaning heavily on his uninjured side. "Can you get up the stairs?" Sasuke asked.

"Think so."

Sasuke just shook his head. "Hope so, idiot." And then, Sasuke slid his friend's arm around his neck until Naruto's arm was draped across Sasuke's shoulders, and Sasuke's own arm settled somewhere near Naruto's waist to support him.

Naruto flushed lightly. "I don't need this much help."

"Just shut up." Sasuke muttered irritably, and helped Naruto hobble up to the next floor, where they exited the stairwell and ended up using the elevator anyway.

**X;**

Kakashi and Iruka were waiting outside of the Umino apartment. As usual, Kakashi was smiling cryptically as the boys came into view. Iruka was more concerned at the way Naruto was limping and favoring his right leg, and the grim look on Sasuke's face.

"What happened?"

Sasuke opened his mouth uncomfortably, not too eager to let his best friend's guardian know how he accidentally caused Naruto to fall down half a flight of stairs, indirectly causing Naruto's newest injury. But what had to be done- Sasuke started, "We were going up the stai-"

" – the stairs and I kinda tripped." Naruto cut in. "I'm accident-prone, what can I say?" Naruto grinned sheepishly, and Sasuke wondered _why, Naruto?_ And- did Kakashi and Iruka… Kakashi 'hm'ed and Iruka shook his head slightly.

"Naruto, you haven't broken anything in three years-" Iruka reminded him-

_-when Naruto hurt his foot- _Sasuke remembered.

"-so be careful." The dark-haired guardian finished reprimanding gently, as his teenage blond charge nodded dutifully.

"He'll be okay by Monday, for school," Sasuke mentioned.

Naruto made a half-strangled noise in his throat even as he made a scornful expression at the mention of school. But Sasuke saw a tiny flash of happiness that lit Naruto's face; yes, Naruto would be glad to be back at school and to see all his friends again. There would be questions, yeah, but Naruto would deal and deal without annoyance… and-

Wait, Sasuke had questions, too. And judging by the look of Iruka, Sasuke could tell that Naruto was in for a long- _long_- talk.

"Well, I must be off now," Kakashi said lightly, dropping a quick kiss on his boyfriend's lips, pointedly ignoring the teenage boys rolling their eyes. Kakashi looked at Naruto and Sasuke, giving them his customary half-wave and half-smile, before making to turn and head back down via elevator.

"It's nice that you're back, Naruto," Kakashi said, before he dropped out of sight.

"And now… Naruto, you and I will have a … discussion about your past week." Iruka said seriously as he pulled out a key to unlock the apartment door and allow them all in. To Sasuke, the junior high school teacher said, "Sasuke, would you-"

"Should I go home, then?" Sasuke inquired, pausing before entering the apartment. It would have been a long walk, but-

Naruto's face told him to stay.

Iruka shook his head and gestured that the dark-haired boy come in. "No, no, you're more than welcome to stay. You're always welcome here. But I'm going to ask that you wait-"

"Sure, yeah." Sasuke didn't need to be told. The Uchiha made his graceful way to Naruto's room, shutting the door quietly behind him.

**X;**

It was 2:13 AM when Naruto attempted to make a noiseless entry into his darkened bedroom for the first time in a week. The lights were off, and Naruto guessed that Sasuke was asleep. However, blue eyes couldn't distinguish Sasuke, asleep or otherwise, from the other shadows in his room, and Naruto scanned the room more than once looking for his best friend.

"Done?" Sasuke's voice cut through the silence, and Naruto jumped.

"Shit, Sasuke," Naruto breathed, startled. Sasuke was sitting by the window, looking out at the Konoha skyline. Sasuke turned his gaze towards his best friend. Naruto said, "Why are you still awake?"

_Waiting for you_. Sasuke tried to say it, really he tried, but his throat seemed to glue over. 'Fuck, no I _am_ going to do this,' Sasuke told himself forcefully, disgusted at this lack of words. "Waiting," he managed shortly.

Sasuke could pick up on the grin halfway across the room.

"For…" Damn the moron, he wasn't going to make it easy.

"You." Sasuke said shortly. 'You didn't think I could, huh, Uzumaki. I _can_ do this.'

Naruto crossed the room and perched on his bed so that he was facing Sasuke. "Thanks," Naruto replied. The grin seemed to be a recurring fixture today. Sasuke stared at it- the way Naruto's face looked when it was happy- how it made him feel- and then wordlessly walked over to sit next to Naruto on the bed. And shrouded in silence, the best friends just sat there as minutes passed over them, just relishing, just feeling the physical weight of the other next to him.

**X;**

3:00 AM, and they were still awake, and neither Naruto nor Sasuke really knew why they hadn't slept yet, hadn't talked yet, hadn't done _anything _yet. Naruto was sprawled across the bed, with only boxers and his white t-shirt on, and Sasuke was somewhere near the edge of the mattress. The past 47 minutes had been silence, soft yet awkward silence, broken only once when Naruto decided to pull off his jeans and Sasuke had to look away.

"We should sleep." Sasuke said, finally.

"We should." Naruto replied without any indication of actually meaning to do so.

Sasuke decided that, like always, it would have to be he who took the responsible course of action, and he shifted on the bed, disregarding the squeaks the mattress made. "I'll take the floor," Sasuke said decisively, forcefully suggesting with his gaze that Naruto should follow the example.

And as Sasuke half-suspected that Naruto would, Naruto completely ignored it and put his own opinion into the matter. "Sasuke, you're no fun. It's Saturday."

"Sunday, now, moron."

"Bastard."

This was so familiar, too familiar, and Sasuke knew he'd been missing the entire week. Elation of Naruto's return had faded to contentment, comfortably humming through his blood.

Naruto studied Sasuke's face, the way the moonlight slanting through his window cast soft highlights and shadows on the Uchiha's feature. And somehow, Sasuke looked both fiercer and gentler when bathed in moonshine. The eyes were still dark, dark, dark, but more human than Naruto had ever seen them. Naruto thought that they were looking at something past him, and he wondered what.

"Don't you wanna know where I've been?" Naruto asked, almost cheekily.

With too much amusement, damn him, Sasuke thought. 'Fuck you, Naruto. Why do you make this sound like it wasn't important at all?'

"What I've _done_?" Naruto pressed, still in that funny laughing voice that wasn't real, at least not to Sasuke's ears.

The rising anger, also too familiar, was what had gotten them into that first fight last week, through all that hurt and conflict. Like last time, Sasuke couldn't stop it. His anger, that was. But it was different this time.

"I said _stop it_, Naruto, fuck, don't _do _that."

Naruto stopped, and blinked at Sasuke. Sasuke, who was angry and confused and suddenly, uncharacteristically, rattled. Not just mad, but with mad-with-a-desperate-undertone. Sasuke looked cruel yet so… vulnerable when he was angry like this.

Naruto felt an apology rising in his throat, and when he opened his mouth, he realized he couldn't say it, because the words would come out all wrong and he feared that it might mean that they'd turn out all wrong, after all.

Sasuke had wanted to punch Naruto a few seconds ago, for making it all a joke, all light-hearted and prankster-funny, and of-no-consequence. And then watching Naruto's strong features contort- and then remembering what hell the week has been- the anger was gone, and it was again only the shame the lasted, the guilt that lingered.

"Idiot. I already know where you've been." Sasuke offered more quietly, and there was subtle affection- so light, so little, but so there- underlining his words.

Naruto accepted it for what it was- truce.

"Well yeah, guess so, since I told ya guys already at dinner." Naruto replied, but dinner already seemed so far ago.

Sasuke shook his head and the dark eyes were intense, pinning. "I want the uncensored story, Naruto. The whole story without the half-assed explanations that you cut off in the middle." And in that, Naruto recognized that Sasuke was giving more to the truce- Sasuke conceding to wanting to know what really happened the last week.

Naruto smiled, almost weakly this time. "Okay, Sasuke."

And so he explained.

It was a hard thing to do, weird too, Naruto reflected as he was talking, to have Sasuke staring so intently at you.

"And I get off the train with Sai- and then… shit, wow _you're _there, and then you know the rest," Naruto trailed off, some time later. He had been purposefully vague about how he met Ami- Naruto couldn't explain any more without blushing full-force- and for some reason, Naruto had the feeling Sasuke wouldn't really like to hear how he'd been unintentionally almost-molested.

But even as Naruto noticed that Sasuke would let that one go- for now- Naruto noticed the way Sasuke looked at him while Naruto told him about it all. How mad Sasuke looked when Naruto reluctantly told about how Iwasaki the jeweler treated him. How Sasuke looked when Naruto told him about his family- that strange something-else Naruto couldn't name. How strange Sasuke looked when Naruto told him about the people he met, the things he learned.

Sasuke didn't say anything at the end of Naruto's story, and the silence was heavy again.

Just them and the moonlight, and the story of last week.

Without thinking, Naruto reached a hand up to trace the horizontal scars on one of his marred cheeks. "Does that all- make me- a… freak?" Naruto murmured softly, almost to himself.

-_accept me, accept me,- _

Sasuke leaned forward and pulled Naruto's hand away from the scars. "No." Sasuke said. There was a heartbeat, and neither boy knew from which chest it resounded. Perhaps both. Blue eyes were startled- and a pathetic kind of hopeful. Sasuke said lowly, almost darkly, "Don't _ever_ think that."

_Christ, that was so fucking clichéd. But my heart skipped a beat._

And then the Uchiha seemed to think he was too sentimental, too what-best-friends-are-for, and slowly leaned himself back.

Almost frightened? Naruto thought. Thoughts wouldn't settle in his head, but Naruto knew they were all about the boy in front of him, in one way or another.

_Everything's so beautiful in the moonlight. He's so beautiful in the moonlight._

'_I want to kiss him.' _

**X;**

Author's note 2: Were you waiting for Itachi? He's next chapter. So is Sai. (Yay.)

Thanks for making it down here, and don't forget to check out my C2 for your Naru x Sasu fics (fix. LOL. Did anyone get that…? I'm a dork.)

Still posing the happy/sad ending question, and if anyone wants to throw ideas out there… shoot.

Lyrics are from _Five for Fighting's 100 years, Vanessa Carlton's The Wreckage, Vanessa Carlton's Afterglow, (my) I miss you, Blink182's What's my age again?_, _Anna Nalick's Citadel, Liz Phair's Why Can't I, Vanessa Carlton's A Thousand Miles. _Comments would be very much appreciated.


	9. up end my okay

Disclaimer: Naruto and everything associated don't belong to me, neither do the lyrics. I'm not claiming ownership of anyone's ideas. I'm just borrowing.

Basics: PG13/T, General/Drama/Romance/Angst, AU, (?) chapters

Warnings: Boy x boy love, boy x girl love, profanity, mild mature themes

Summary: Sasuke always did mean to leave Konoha, and that intention breaks Naruto's heart. But fate pulls a 180 and instead it is Naruto that leaves, and Sasuke is the heartbroken one.

Author's note 1: Hey. So sorry about the slow updates. I kept trying to jumpstart my several new stories... and I couldn't. I kept coming back to this... so, this one decided to insist that it had to be written.

So you better like it.

I kid, I swear.

**X;**

**Counting the ways**  
_...to where you are._

**X;**

It was Sunday afternoon, golden light slanting through Naruto's bedroom window and making warm squares on the floor. Naruto sat perched on the edge of his mattress, blue eyes riveted on the floor for no particular reason. He was still in the white tee and boxers that he had woken up in, and felt no desire to change out of his sleepwear.

He hadn't kissed Sasuke after all, and Naruto was wondering what would have happened if he had. God knows he wanted to.

And now Sasuke wasn't here any more. The Uchiha's guardian had called in the morning and Sasuke had taken the call with somewhat of a cold grimace on his face. Shortly after hanging up, Sasuke had left. Naruto frowned. Sasuke hadn't let him walk him home, either.

But...

This morning, waking up next to Sasuke had been unexpectedly... sweet. Naruto had finally gotten Sasuke to agree to share the bed, and to find in the morning that Sasuke had actually stayed... Naruto allowed himself a small smile. To find himself back to back to Sasuke, to feel the warmth of another body through their thin t-shirts, and know that he was home and that Sasuke, the boy who mattered the most to him, was there beside him.

Naruto hugged his knees.

Everything was approaching... being okay.

**X;**

_To- superperv (at) emailservice dot net  
From- believeitninja (at) emailservice dot net_

_Subject- YO!_

_Hello you PERV._

_So, I'm just writing to tell you that I got back to Konoha alright and unmolested and unmugged and all that stuff. Because I KNOW you were concerned about your one and only godson. Right? Right. So you know, I'm all okay with my family-stuff now. I kinda kept thinking about it on the train ride home, but once I actually got to Konoha, I saw my friends and Iruka again, and like it's cool now. I know where everything's supposed to be, and even if I don't know what I am yet- but I will, believe it!- I know I'm supposed to be here._

_Um. Say hi to Ami for me if you see her around! You remember her, right? Of course you remember her you perv, you wouldn't stop looking at her boobs._

_Um. RIGHT. Iruka said you can come by whenever, if you want. And you can call, once in a while. So don't be all lonely-old-man on us, kay? Because you really really want to see your godson sometimes. And… he wants to see you too…_

_From, the one and only NARUTO_

_P.S. !! I almost forgot. Iruka's boyfriend reads these porn novels and he left one at our place, and when I looked at the cover, there was YOUR NAME ON IT. It was- like- WTF- you wrote them!!! You really are a perv!!!_

**X;**

'Konoha Prison Facility, Psychiatric Ward.'

Sasuke kept his eyes trained on the gray uniform of the fat, toad-like MCA- an acronym for some dressed-up title for the men who were simply put, prison guards- that was walking in front of them. Behind him, Sasuke could feel, with a faint note of disgust, Taniguchi breathing almost down his neck. His guardian was probably pumped full of aspirin for the hangover Sasuke knew Taniguchi always woke up with, and that thought caused disdain too.

The three of them- the MCA, Sasuke, and Taniguchi- were silent as they walked wordlessly down the hallways of the prison facility. Sasuke ignored his environment, but behind him, his guardian darted constant glances at their surroundings. Gray-painted concrete walls and fluorescent lighting fixtures, an eerie quiet broken only by occasional footsteps and the electrical buzzing from the lights above- the Konoha facility inspired a sense of airlessness, of captivity.

Which was fitting, really, for the building that housed Konoha's most ruthless, dangerous, guilty men- and in this section, Konoha's most criminally insane.

Sasuke grit his teeth, and he lost focus even of the back of the prison guard leading them. Instead, he saw his brother's face.

Itachi.

Taniguchi had told him- grinning manically- that his brother had simply handed himself over to the authorities when the police busted a drug warehouse downtown. 'Downtown,' Sasuke thought bitterly. 'All this time, when I was going to leave to find the goddamn fucker, he was just a couple miles away.'

At first, Sasuke had not understood his alcoholic guardian, thought that Taniguchi was being an incoherent drunk. Itachi- just admitting he was guilty? Just like that? It somehow... cheapened everything. Sasuke's frown deepened, now, and his fists clenched at his side.

Rage simmered deep, deep beneath the controlled surface. Yet, somehow, not the right rage, Sasuke felt.

Itachi stole it from him, again.

Itachi had stolen every goddamn thing Sasuke ever had a right to- Itachi being the prodigy and the one that would "truly make something of himself"- Itachi had always had the family's attention and devotion and pride. And then, Itachi decided to take away- kill- the family anyway.

And once again, Itachi was a thief. Only this time, Itachi took away Sasuke's revenge- Sasuke's reason for living. Sasuke's goal. Sasuke's destiny.

Itachi handed himself on a fucking platter to the police.

Funny. The Uchiha family had been a cop family, an family empire in Konoha's police precinct. Their eldest son, their prodigy- decided to violate the law in the worst way possible. And then- he practically turned himself in.

The frown on Sasuke's face took on a dark, wry turn. 'Funny. So fucking funny I could laugh.' He thought sarcastically.

And then Taniguchi told him- an almost manically amused sneer on that pale, oily face. He's crazy. Clinically insane. Your fucking brother is fucking crazy. Isn't that hilarious, you little shit?

Sasuke had almost decked his guardian, but mostly it was the shock and immediate blankness that flooded him. He's crazy. He's crazy.

Sasuke unclenched his fists, and let his hands fall to the side.

The grim trio turned a corner, and then the walls weren't painted gray anymore. The concrete walls were instead a dull white color.

This white section of the facility was as far from reality as one could get while remaining geographically in Konoha. Tucked in the most remote corner of building, constantly prepared for a total lockdown, the white-painted section of Konoha's prison contained the sociopath and the schizophrenic and so many more whose minds have turned against morality, the ones who heard voices, saw visions, and were driven by something in their minds manifesting in the worst of ways.

The fat MCA hummed a rather tuneless melody as he led them to one of the rooms where visitors met with their incarcerated friends, family members. It was the hope of the doctors in the Psychiatric section that it would help aid the therapy that these disturbed criminals received under state law and regulation.

And indeed, sometimes it helped.

But Sasuke wasn't even remotely trying to help Itachi.

He wasn't too sure what would happen. All he knew was the ultimate goal was what it had always been. To kill Itachi.

All that the teenager knew was that Itachi had taken everything away from him, whenever starting to go right, all he knew was the dull rage surging through his veins- those veins filled with the very same blood as Itachi's.

When Sasuke walked into that room with the table bolted to the floor and the chairs around it, and the too-white sheen that the fluorescent lighting cast on the room- and saw the one man he hated more than anyone in the world...

He wasn't prepared for the sheer wave of something- Sasuke didn't really know what it was, only that it was neither just hate nor just anger- that hit him hard and squarely on the mental front. His consciousness staggered.

Suddenly, Sasuke was reminded of the same sort of crash of emotion that greeted him when he saw Naruto yesterday at the train station. Naruto... was it only this morning that Sasuke was content and warm, waking up so close to his blond best friend?

Just as quickly as the image of Naruto's face burst into his mind, it left.

There was a startling- to Sasuke at least- numbness that settled over his body, and he had the indistinct notion that it was not he, Sasuke Uchiha, moving his limbs, walking to closer to the table. It was like a dream, and he felt detached, as if he were hovering about in near the ceiling of the room, watching the prison guard, his sniveling greasy guardian- watching himself- watching Itachi.

"They'll be watching ya, so no funny business, right-o?" The MCA said, almost mockingly in a rounded-out sort of voice. A fat finger pointed at a security camera up near a corner, and he made a sound that Sasuke thought was meant to be a chuckle. It snapped Sasuke to his senses, snapped his hovering consciousness back coldly and clearly to his physical body, as a surge of dislike for the toady man broke surface.

"I'll be right outside," he added, before he rotated his bulbous body and walked out the door, leaving Taniguchi and Sasuke facing the eldest Uchiha son.

The remaining three Uchihas- two, actually, Taniguchi didn't really count- remained deadly silent as the door closed after the pudgy man.

Sasuke heard Taniguchi breathing too heavily, too loudly next to him, and he resisted the urge to punch the stupid bastard. Instead, he brought his gaze properly to the other bastard in the room.

"Itachi." Sasuke said, voice determinedly even.

Itachi was a lot skinnier than he was when Sasuke last saw him. Even now, the drab clothes provided for the inmates hung off his already slender frame. Itachi's sharp cheekbones looked even higher and his face even more hollow, pale skin stretched thinly over the sharp once-handsome, still-handsome features. His mouth was still a flat line, as it was usually. Sasuke watched those lips move.

"Foolish little brother," Itachi said, lowly, in a dry-ish voice that was nevertheless controlled and smooth.

It was the phrase, a fragment of their shared history, the phrase that had once caused so much annoyance in Sasuke when he was a child, and when Itachi was still just teasing.

Sasuke thought that Itachi's monotone utterance of that long-ago familiar phrase would make the hate rise. But it didn't. Everything emotional had dropped out of him, curiously enough. He felt hollow, even as he tried to summon the sheer loathing he held for the gaunt man- his brother!- in front of him. His heart didn't speed up in a staccato of abhorrence, his head didn't pulse with the need to kill.

'What the fuck is wrong with me,' Sasuke wondered distantly.

"Why?" Itachi said. 'Why are you here?' was the true question, but there was no need to explain that to Sasuke, so Itachi didn't elaborate. A hint of a smirk crept onto Itachi's face. "Are you still…" The quiet voice dropped even lower. "… scared?"

Scared.

Sasuke finally found his voice and larynx and words. "No." Sasuke said, just as quietly. Then, more vehemently, "No. I'm not fucking afraid of you."

Itachi just looked at him, and those so-similar dark eyes glittered briefly. Itachi moved his hands slightly, and Sasuke looked at his brother's wrists- they were shackled together with plastic cuffs, ensuring no movement.

"No." Itachi was still expressionless, except for the faint trace of a smile that did not touch his eyes. "I didn't think so."

It was true, too. Sasuke felt no fear- or at least, nothing that could rightly be called fear.

"Taniguchi brought me here, because he wanted to." Sasuke said evenly, jerking a thumb towards his silent guardian. Come to think of it, Taniguchi was looking rather pale, looking rather sweaty. Sasuke ignored him. Watched his brother. And said, "I wanted to."

A beat of silence-

Itachi did the last thing that Sasuke expected him to do: his older brother started laughing.

"-the fuck?" Sasuke heard himself say in disbelief.

It wasn't true laughing, as Itachi's smiles were not true smiles. But this- this was warping the concept of laughter. The sounds that emitted from Itachi's throat had not a drop of joy, not a drop of delight- it was hoarse and choking, and the skinny frame of the man that used to be so strong, it shook. Itachi's shoulders moved jerkily up and down as his chest constricted with his brand of laughter.

"… You really are crazy." And surprisingly it was Taniguchi who said this. Taniguchi's voice was not shaking, it was not shocked, it wasn't even disgusted. It was… smug. And this- what Taniguchi said- rung strangely in Sasuke's ears like an off-tone bell echoing in silence, even as he stared at his brother in the throes of what seemed like a fit.

The door swung open rapidly and the toad-like prison guard made his way into the room with surprising swift waddles. Another prison guard was with him, a tall and yellow complexioned man with a good amount of stubble on his chin. The third person to enter the room was a man in a white lab coat, with large square framed glasses and a clipboard.

The two guards held both of Itachi's shaking arms, and the white-coated man, presumably a doctor, peered, scrutinizing, over his thick glasses. "All right, give him the standard," the doctor ordered in a surprisingly strong voice. The tall guard plunged a hand into his pocket, and his hand withdrew a needle, which he stuck into Itachi.

The guards dragged him out, into the hallway, and Sasuke watched until he could not see his twitching brother and his escorts anymore.

The doctor turned to Sasuke, still staring, and Taniguchi, still smirking, and said without fanfare, "So you're the relatives."

"We are…" Taniguchi said, and Sasuke hated the greasy tone that his guardian used.

"Perhaps we shouldn't have allowed a visit, so soon." The doctor said, voice hard. He blinked, dignifiedly, behind the lenses of his glasses.

"Is he always like that?" Sasuke broke the brief quiet following the doctor's words. Sasuke's own words were inflectionless, frigid, cut.

"He's only been here a day." The doctor said, sounding slightly disapproving. "We haven't observed him long enough."

The doctor shook his head, as Sasuke leveled a carelessly piercing look at him. Finally, the doctor said, "He spent several hours last night staring straight ahead. This morning, he had an episode similar to what you've just witnessed." He paused. And continued slowly: "There are perhaps 'trigger words'… or 'trigger events' that provoke this sort of reaction."

Then, the doctor seemed to mull over his next sentences.

"I would warn you…" he said, still slowly, "to watch what you say, when you visit." The doctor gave Sasuke a piercing stare of his own. "That is, if you decide you still want to visit." There was almost a smirk in the doctor's voice when he finished with, "Most people… don't."

"Most people… don't tell me what I should or should not do." Sasuke returned coldly.

The doctor didn't flush, but a pale pink crept up his neck, and eyes narrowed slightly as he tilted his head a little upward. Sticking his nose up into the air, Sasuke thought. The doctor gave a little 'ahem,' and said, "I assure you, there was no such implication of any sort. May I escort you to the facility exit?"

Taniguchi broke in hurriedly, impatiently: "Please do, I need t' get home." Taniguchi glanced sideways at Sasuke and jerked a thumb at the teenager. "And I'm sure Sasuke wants to get home too."

Sasuke hated all of them- Itachi, Taniguchi, the doctor, the prison guard, the whole goddamn prison. But he said nothing as he strode gracefully after the two older men.

Out of the prison, into the light.

But it was afternoon already, and the light was dying, dyeing into black.

**X;**

When the sun began its daily ascent, blue eyes were already open and alert.

This… this was a rarity.

Naruto Uzumaki couldn't say that he had never woken up so early, but he could say that he had never woken up early on Monday, for school. Maybe when those two events coincided with Iruka's birthday or something like that. But not solely for Monday and for school- except today.

But if one thinks- something that Naruto kind of, sometimes, maybe does- it was a rarity.

To be coming back after a week of well, -screw the fucking clichés concept- … finding yourself.

Naruto had the thought that it might be a little different to see- well, Neji and Gaara, Hinata and Kiba and Shino, Shikamaru and even Chouji. And then of course, there was Sasuke- Sasuke and Sakura and even Lee,. And when Naruto listed that in his head, a funny feeling snuck its way into his chest somewhere and squeezed. The friendships he had made in Konoha- and the people- it was a world waiting for him.

He pulled on his school uniform of dark pants and a button-up shirt that he donned messily. He grabbed his bookbag with all his incomplete homework. And stuffing a bagel into his mouth, waving to Iruka, Naruto made his way out.

7 AM sharp, Naruto was at the corner on which he met Sasuke everyday for school.

And Sasuke was not there.

Naruto almost snapped the strap of his bookbag the way he fidgeted with it, waiting for Sasuke. Minutes upon minutes passed, without any sign of his dark haired, dark eyed best friend. 'Is he mad at me or something after all?' Naruto wondered, forcefully sticking his hands in his pockets in an attempt to stop his fidgeting. But Naruto couldn't believe that, not with the way Sasuke was looking at and talking to and touching him since he'd gotten back.

At least, he didn't want to believe that.

'Or maybe he got hurt on the way home or something! Damn, I knew I should have called to make sure he got home okay!'

And then,

'Damnit I've gotta stop worrying about this, Uchiha probably just got used to going to school alone this past week.'

Still later,

'But what if something did happen… No, Uchiha can take care of himself, he knows how to throw a punch, he can deal with what he's given…'

And then a miniscule spark that lit a corner of his thoughts- something he really didn't want to believe happened. 'Itachi… what if Sasuke… left after all?' And then following that, the worse idea of them all… 'What if Itachi… got him?'

"NO!" Naruto finally shouted aloud. "Fucker hasn't shown up in years, he better goddamn not be here now!"

Naruto was oblivious to the disapproving looks shot his way from the people heading to work or school or simply out on a morning walk. It was almost eight o'clock, almost when homeroom started, and Naruto bit his lip. Maybe Sasuke was at school already. Yeah. Sasuke-bastard was at school. Naruto hoped to God that was situation, as his long legs took off running toward Konoha High School.

**X;**

When Naruto burst through the doors of his homeroom in the last five minutes, several people immediately stood from their seats and hurried over to the blond. Sakura, Kiba, Hinata, Shino, Chouji, and even Shikamaru hung around him, and Naruto couldn't see through the mini-crowd. So he stood up on tip-toes looking around for the seat that he hoped wasn't empty- the seat at which Sasuke Uchiha sat.

And it wasn't.

Naruto was tremendously relieved, and terribly annoyed.

Making a hasty apology, Naruto pushed his way through his very curious and glad-to-see-him friends until he reached the desk of his best friend.

"Sasuke-bastard!" Naruto yelled. "How come you weren't at our meeting place! Goddamnit, Sasuke, you really worried me when you didn't show up! Idiot Sasuke!" By the end of his short tirade, Naruto had deflated down to a sort of growl-grumble.

Sasuke looked up at Naruto calmly- and the blond was immediately struck by how bad Sasuke looked. The faint dark bags beneath his best friend's eyes, the way the dark hair was messier than the cool-Sasuke-Uchiha-messy, how the button-up shirt Sasuke was wearing had been put on carelessly, the way Sasuke laced his pale hands together so tight that they were even whiter. It would have been a subtle difference to someone else, but to Naruto it was blatant. After all, this was Sasuke, this boy who owned his heart and soul for the past seven years.

"Kind of what you did, moron." Sasuke smirked, though Naruto could tell his thoughts were elsewhere.

Naruto made a somewhat embarrassed, gruff noise at that. And bit his lip. "Sasuke- are you-" Naruto began to ask his friend. Are you okay?

But Sasuke would not let him ask. Sasuke cut him off. "And look who's behind you, dimwit." Naruto swore that Sasuke's tone dropped a few degrees. But Naruto turned around.

"SAI?!" Naruto exclaimed, incredulously. And indeed, it was the shorthaired boy who Naruto had befriended on the train, smiling politely at him.

"Hello, Naruto, I'd hoped I would see you here. It turns out I'm staying here in Konoha for a while after all, so I enrolled. An April transfer is pretty late, but it's nice in that I'll get to see you on a daily basis." Sai said, still smiling.

It was strange to see Sai in a school uniform. Not bad, but strange, Naruto thought. Naruto had come to think of his journey-life and his Konoha-life as separate, but having Sai here seemed to blur the lines and borders of what had become Naruto's two distinct worlds.

Naruto opened his mouth to say something, and then closed it again. His natural friendliness soon won out, and he cheerfully welcomed his friend to Konoha High School. "Yeah Sai, that's great. I hope you like it here!"

Said Sai: "Thank you, Naru."

_Naru?!?_ Naruto almost gaped, but forced himself to let it go as a one-time incident, a slip of the tongue, perhaps.

Focusing his gaze on Sasuke, the new student held up a newspaper that he pulled from behind his back. Said Sai: "Oh, and did you know you were in the papers, Sasuke?"

Sasuke's cold glare did not make Sai flinch, but Naruto did, especially when he saw the headlines.

_Murderer Of The Uchiha Clan Is Finally Behind Bars_.

And below the bold black newsprint, there were two pictures. One, of Itachi Uchiha- the man who murdered his almost-entire family. The second, right next to it, a younger face- Sasuke Uchiha as a seven-year-old child, captioned as the lone survivor of the Uchiha massacre.

**X;**

Author's note 2: And here we are, rolling out the problems again. Super sorry for the month-plus delay. Did you liiiike? I'm kind of anxious about this chapter. Especially the whole prison thing. Did it reek, guys?

Anyway. I hope you drop a line anyway. I did edit the last chapter, I'll get to this one later.

Don't forget to check out my C2 for complete Naruto x Sasuke fics. (Naru x Sasu fix! Yay, Crick!) We're almost to a thousand fics!

Lyrics are from _Five for Fighting's 100 years, Vanessa Carlton's The Wreckage, Vanessa Carlton's Afterglow, (my) I miss you, Blink182's What's my age again?, Anna Nalick's Citadel, Liz Phair's Why Can't I, Vanessa Carlton's A Thousand Miles_. Comments would be very much appreciated.


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